r/meme Oct 21 '21 Silver 3 Helpful 10 Wholesome 10 Hugz 8

Need a huge bag of pee? Today is your day!

https://i.redd.it/vy74cwedlru71.jpg
16.1k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/naypoleon Oct 21 '21 Silver Helpful Wholesome Hugz

Quit

1.3k

u/SHOMERFUCKINGSHOBBAS Oct 21 '21

Poke a hole in the bag, then quit

1.1k

u/rampallianuraag Oct 21 '21 Silver Hugz Bravo!

Well that's gonna piss them off

385

u/PineHoot Oct 21 '21

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Unless you’re into that, then you do you.

280

u/rampallianuraag Oct 21 '21 Silver Wholesome

Urine to that*

46

u/Sacklunch696969 Oct 21 '21

That's hot. Get it, pee is stored in the balls

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16

u/Background_Floor2177 Oct 21 '21

I am guessing this is stolen from Jeff vs sheamus feud ?

15

u/ScreenshotShitposts Oct 21 '21

Ho ho. Call pornhub! Or set up an Only Fans! Thats what you do!

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12

u/Dual_Birds Oct 21 '21

Golden showers for everyone

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68

u/mr_negativ Oct 21 '21

Hahah i see what you did there

67

u/Relative_Cup6216 Oct 21 '21

No no it's "I pee what you did there"

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36

u/Ass_claimer Oct 21 '21

Put straw in it and enjoy your drink

7

u/D4RKSHADOW18 Oct 21 '21

Well done sir, your comment actually made me gag

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89

u/KLGamer7084 Oct 21 '21

Shit in the bag, Poke a hole in it, then quit

65

u/RealisticSenpai Oct 21 '21

Puke in the bag,shit in the bag, poke a hole in the bag,then quit

31

u/Pimmelsenator Oct 21 '21

Nice, this is getting better & wilder any minute.

65

u/vrda06 Oct 21 '21 Silver

Cum in the bag, puke in the bag, shit in the bag, poke a hole in the bag and then quit. And dip that resignation letter in the concoction and serve with a hint of parsley and table salt.

3

u/Maximum_Window_2604 Oct 21 '21

Dont forget to add some period blood. U know, with the holidays coming up n all..gives it that nice festive color. Learned that from Martha Stewart.

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12

u/is_aYet Oct 21 '21

Puke outsite the bag better

10

u/TheBeast160 Oct 21 '21

Puke in the bag, shit in the bag, put a child in the bag,poke hole in the bag, then quit

8

u/kurukikoshigawa_1995 Oct 21 '21

puke in the bag, shit in the bag, put a child in the bag, put fast and furious crossroads in the bag, poke a hole in the bag, shit on the floor, then quit

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8

u/kopecs Oct 21 '21

Cum in the bag, puke in the bag, shit in the bag, poke a hole in the bag, then quit

22

u/Spac3Cowboy420 Oct 21 '21 Wholesome

When I was 16 I worked at Wendy's in Mobile alabama. Bobby Brown was on his way to bayfest on dauphin island, we are the last stop before you get before it's just beaches and no bathrooms. So he stopped to use the restroom. Because of the concert, the restaurant was completely empty and had been all day long. Bobby Brown was our first and only customer that day.

When he came in I was working front counter, and didn't recognize him at first. And then it dawned on me, that's Bobby Brown because of all the security guards. He went into the restroom, a few minutes later he comes back out signs a couple autographs and leaves. Because we're not making any money, management decides to close the restaurant.

So I go in the bathroom just to check and make sure everything's okay. Bobby Brown filled the toilet with poop, did not flush it at all. So I told the management, because I know our plumbing is kind of bad in this restaurant. She told me to go flush it. I did and of course the toilet flooded. An 8-in long turd comes flooding out of the toilet onto the floor and floats its way out into the dining room. I don't know if you remember what early to mid-90s Wendy's decor was. But there is definitely a carpet. And that's where the turd decided to park itself. Now Bobby Brown came in at around noon, we decided to close the doors at around 2:00. There was no way I'm picking up a water log disintegrating celebrity turd. I quit on the spot.

4

u/Dekugaming Oct 21 '21

Bet if u did bag that turd some crazed fan would have bought it from you

3

u/KLGamer7084 Oct 21 '21

What the fuck, even celebrities don't have manners XD

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41

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '21

The only logical thing to do ^

16

u/Pimmelsenator Oct 21 '21

Before or after taking a dump on it?

12

u/sunee19 Oct 21 '21

Put it in the classroom

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219

u/CYGOH1222 Oct 21 '21

just leave it there so students can freak out

139

u/PetercyEz Oct 21 '21

Trust me, they would pop it.

31

u/WeirdRandoIam Oct 21 '21

I know I would

4

u/DrPaleontologus Oct 21 '21

If not me, then my friend. And I will be watching and recording.

3

u/Nithin_for_you Oct 21 '21

11th grader here, would pop it defo

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3

u/NostrilRapist Oct 21 '21

Would have grow it more first

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23

u/the_occasional_user Oct 21 '21

Just leave it there so students can take a picture of it and post it on reddit.

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310

u/Dunta_Cral Oct 21 '21

Burn the place down

157

u/Pimmelsenator Oct 21 '21

But the piss would extinguish your fire.

43

u/LinoLino321 Oct 21 '21

Which would smell horrible

3

u/schro_cat Oct 21 '21

Then start a band called Piss Extinguisher

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16

u/zeburaa Oct 21 '21

probably the easiest and most rational solution

7

u/Brummelhummel Oct 21 '21

Your profile picture is how i would react when i see that pissbag as a janitor

3

u/zeburaa Oct 21 '21

understandable

277

u/TaxOk324 Oct 21 '21

Go home

135

u/Pimmelsenator Oct 21 '21

How would you carry the bag?

123

u/The___canadian Oct 21 '21

Carry it in a cart to the bosses office, say "I quit", poke a hole in it and walk off.

70

u/Pimmelsenator Oct 21 '21

That'd definitely show dominance.

52

u/The___canadian Oct 21 '21

When he flips shit, obligatory response: "no need to be so pissy"

5

u/Intelligent_Trip8691 Oct 21 '21

Here the real answer say nope walk out. If they want you to clean it up you just go biohazard I'm not trained for that.

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234

u/Mindless-Pilot-Chef Oct 21 '21

Pee into it and then quit

86

u/JanwithBanan CHAINPOSTER Oct 21 '21

nonono, you got it wrong, it goes more like

1) Pee into it

2) You poke a hole in the bag

3) Quit

4) Watch the chaos unveil

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469

u/Sgt_Paul_Jackson Oct 21 '21

Put a very small explosive and resign

175

u/Pimmelsenator Oct 21 '21

Woah, no need to go nuclear.

25

u/Ritsuka-san Oct 21 '21

Klee make it go boom.

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99

u/Aatman_Patel_447 Oct 21 '21

Some men, just want to watch the world end.

3

u/Vogel88888888 Oct 21 '21

Some men just want to watch the world drown

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28

u/Clumsy_Deepak Oct 21 '21

Calm down satan

10

u/Zandre1126 Oct 21 '21

Let's not blow things out of proportion

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63

u/DStew713 Oct 21 '21

Sorry to be that guy, but just bust out the shop vac. Nice and easy.

39

u/Ijustwantahotpocket Oct 21 '21

Wouldn’t even think you’d need to shop vac it. Pretty sure most bathrooms at schools have a drain. So i assume you could just pop it, let it flow down the drain, then mop up the trail

8

u/tvp61196 Oct 21 '21

My exact thought. It would take a little while without flooding the floor, but hands down the easiest solution

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5

u/douglasdouglasdougla Oct 21 '21

Right! Gotta love the shop vac

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6

u/Kamikaze_Ninja_ Oct 21 '21

I never knew you could use a shop vac for liquid until I had to do it regularly at work for a period of time.

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161

u/Aidzillafont Oct 21 '21

Turn around and leave

91

u/23x3 Oct 21 '21

Go to a chemistry lab and get a long hose if it’s a school. Puncture a hole in the bag that has the most slack. Take the cover off the grate in the floor and siphon the pee into there. Demand a raise

26

u/ThatSandwichGuy Oct 21 '21

Siphon? How do you create the vacuum

51

u/Jtizzle8 Oct 21 '21 Hugz

Well how badly do you want that raise?

16

u/Abyssal_Groot Oct 21 '21

Something like this should do.

Bassically you put the copper part in the bag and shake the tube along it's length. The marble goes up and fills the tube a bit, then falls down and keeps the piss inside the tube. Keep shaking to fill the tube until it keeps running on it's own.

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3

u/mousepop321 Oct 21 '21

Simple, fill the hose with water, and then with your thumbs over the ends you quickly put the hose into place

3

u/ThatSandwichGuy Oct 21 '21

In my experience this could work, used it on a fishtank

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47

u/Adebisauce Oct 21 '21

Sell it to a porn site

42

u/The___canadian Oct 21 '21

"Gamer Girl Pee"

7

u/spunkyboy247365 Oct 21 '21

A school selling "gamer girl pee" to pornography sites in order to fund their curriculum is one of those sentences that really epitomizes life in the 2020s, doesn't it?

It's beautiful

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81

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '21

Pop it with a long pointy stick and run as fast as i can to the exit

23

u/v3spasian Oct 21 '21

Just to come back with a mop

27

u/funkopoplover69420 Oct 21 '21

That bathroom definitely has a drain on the floor. I'm team pop and run.

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262

u/Jeevgaming Oct 21 '21

gulp gulp gulp

116

u/Pimmelsenator Oct 21 '21

You're one thirsty mf.

51

u/Daddy_Smokestack Oct 21 '21

Hey when you're thirsty, you're thirsty

35

u/Pimmelsenator Oct 21 '21

You're right, who'd deny a thirsty man his drink.

13

u/TheTranquilTurtle Oct 21 '21

Prison. All of you, prison.

10

u/Flat_Mechanic_2713 Oct 21 '21

You're not you when you're thirsty Grab a puss

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5

u/Ashmedai Oct 21 '21

Well now I've had enough internet for today.

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54

u/WarriorDan69 Oct 21 '21

Fk this sh¡t im out

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17

u/akaTint0lz Oct 21 '21

Stab it and the guy that did that

25

u/Pimmelsenator Oct 21 '21

If this is from one guy, he deserves a medal ;)

3

u/akaTint0lz Oct 21 '21

Ok i kind of agree with it

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16

u/User112011 Oct 21 '21

Hope they have a drain in the floor in there, cause it's probably smart to just pop that thing and let it get on the floor, then clean the floor and walls with soap and water, beforehand washing it down with lots of water. Then again this may just be extra work because I'm a dumbass and don't really think too hard about shit like this.

5

u/Pimmelsenator Oct 21 '21

.... about piss like this.

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11

u/Julia_ispog_543 Oct 21 '21

Quit my job

12

u/HeyYoItsRad Oct 21 '21

"Fucking kids"

17

u/Pimmelsenator Oct 21 '21

Yes officer, this comment right here.

8

u/lqlex Oct 21 '21

Go work at mcdonalds

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11

u/CygnusX06 Oct 21 '21

I cut it open.

9

u/Pimmelsenator Oct 21 '21

But there's no floor drain.

17

u/CygnusX06 Oct 21 '21

DID I STUTTER?

6

u/Pimmelsenator Oct 21 '21

Hehe, nice.

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29

u/5enior97 Oct 21 '21

Sell it in the cafeteria labeled “Apple Juice”

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7

u/gettinvids Oct 21 '21

Before or after quitting?

7

u/Yage-Sage Oct 21 '21

How the flying fuck did this get that way?

11

u/ThatSucc Oct 21 '21

It's tied around the whole urinal, so that think the spot was backed up and causing old piss to come out the drain. Janitor tied a bag around it to contain it while he got his shit ready to handle the situation

4

u/gullyterrier Oct 21 '21

Umm. Drains don't work that way. There is no old piss. My guess is thy closed it off and everyone after thought it would be hilarious to pee in it.

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u/Youkno-thefarmer Oct 21 '21

This is what I was hoping someone would answer! I cannot figure it out

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7

u/Minastor Oct 21 '21

Sit next to it and cry

5

u/Pimmelsenator Oct 21 '21

That'd make a nice meme, too.

6

u/Reddit_Ghost2021 Oct 21 '21

Simple. Just use a pump and carefully move it up and out. Then empty it into some old milk jugs and serve it back to the kids as apple juice

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6

u/TauInMelee Oct 21 '21

Report it to my boss, walk away, commit homicide when I find who did it.

5

u/DiekeDrake Oct 21 '21

Sell it on craigslist.

5

u/Pimmelsenator Oct 21 '21

There's a good chance this would work.

5

u/papupelu Oct 21 '21

free lemonade day in school 💯

4

u/MyCoolMan321 Oct 21 '21

Take it to the trash can and throw it in duh

5

u/Pimmelsenator Oct 21 '21

That'd be a very very very brave thing to try.

4

u/0xDECAFC0FFEEBAD Oct 21 '21

Mmmmmh forbidden apple juice

4

u/mouldylunchboxx Oct 21 '21

Bring home and use as beanbag

5

u/offender_defender_ WARNING: RULE 1 Oct 21 '21

Put it on ebay as a some random women twitch streamer's pee

9

u/Crocs_19 Oct 21 '21

I was the janitor

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3

u/amirtha14 Oct 21 '21

Free hair gel

3

u/Sleepy-tyler-king Oct 21 '21

idk if i get hit by a bus on my way home, but i’m quitting for sho

3

u/realitycheck69420 Oct 21 '21

"Screw it! let it sit there"

3

u/Rasadak Oct 21 '21

Bring a straw

3

u/B_GameZ7 Oct 21 '21

sigh.....sip

3

u/EEEESH_ Oct 21 '21

Free real estate.. why d'you think I became a janitor

3

u/Pimmelsenator Oct 21 '21

Bath time, wohoo!

3

u/Longjumping_Algae_45 Oct 21 '21

Where's my resume..?

3

u/Pimmelsenator Oct 21 '21

This IS your resume.

3

u/v3spasian Oct 21 '21 Silver

I make a small incision in the upper half of the bag that is not as stretched to avoid the bag from ripping. Then I place a fish tank cleaning siphon in it and CAREFULLY suck on it to slowly drain the bag.

After that is done and only little pee remains in the bag I tie it together below the urinal and the fromer incision. Then I cut above the knot and throw the bag away.

The school is safe again. I proceed to get minimum wage and minimum respect for the rest of my life and die alone surrounded by my two dogs that after my death will tragically starve to death. FIN

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3

u/lethargicshtbag Oct 21 '21

Make a top hole and allow everyone to add to it until it ruptures. Russian roulette…

2

u/Dane_358 Oct 21 '21

I take a spike....

2

u/Nick-kun_ Oct 21 '21

Free apple juice

2

u/mohammad_galib Oct 21 '21

The only logical thing to do :')

2

u/jessieS1212 Oct 21 '21

Im gonna ask Dax

2

u/David08_80 Oct 21 '21

Poke then clean it up.

2

u/TheUnrulenting Oct 21 '21

I'm too scared to hear anyone's suggestions

3

u/The___canadian Oct 21 '21

I'll pitch in, serious answer: make a small incision in the top of the bag (not big enough for the integrity to fail and the bag to fall apart) get a Shop Vac, enter the hose and start vacuuming up the nasty liquid. Toss, repeat.

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2

u/Kuchenbrottv Oct 21 '21

Take it or leave it

2

u/Valleuminati Oct 21 '21

Go to the toilet in it

2

u/aRustAccount Oct 21 '21

Get a hose and put it so it goes on the other toilet and keep doing that until the pee is gone

2

u/Walker6920 Oct 21 '21

Vacuum cleaner mode

2

u/Quitehung2437 Oct 21 '21

I pull-out my comically large straw...

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2

u/JadedPeanutButter Oct 21 '21

I mean, at least it's not all over the floor...

2

u/Healthy_Rooster_3243 Oct 21 '21

call bear grills (MAN VS WILD)

2

u/legend_killer_ Oct 21 '21

Add my part of the share too

2

u/Daddy_Smokestack Oct 21 '21

Run away before that thing bursts

2

u/SchPeti Oct 21 '21

There should be a floor drain. Just cut it open and wait it drains then mop the floor

2

u/SRpiti Oct 21 '21

ur mom

2

u/AgeAggravating9774 Oct 21 '21

happy green tea lover Janitor noises

2

u/KidCanada7 Oct 21 '21

I hope it’s double bagged.

2

u/EddePede Oct 21 '21

The forbidden Capri-Sun

2

u/Jackmcmac1 Oct 21 '21

Sell the location to some drug addicts on parole

2

u/karthiccer Oct 21 '21

insert some celebrity here's finest second edition urine!

2

u/Delifier Oct 21 '21

Depending on the day, but there is a chance i would stare at it in disbelief for 15 seconds, then leave while pretending not to have seen it. Depending on how long that have been there, it can stink of high heaven.

Worse cases have been seen, with massive pizza puke all over the floor (cafeteria in the building), partially smeared out. Piss can be sucked up as is, at least.

2

u/thatlonleykid Oct 21 '21

Probably get very pissed

2

u/ReaperOvBodom Oct 21 '21

How the fuck?

2

u/tastywalrus89 Oct 21 '21

Put it in a envelope and send it to the boss

2

u/Anime-Meme-Merchant Oct 21 '21

Quit on the spot

2

u/redditruari Oct 21 '21

Simple dimple

2

u/Spacepotato00 Oct 21 '21

Dibs on the free piss bag

2

u/Vzeltova Oct 21 '21

Take a sip

2

u/BattleTiny7132 Oct 21 '21

All you people saying quit do you not realize you could just call in for that day?

2

u/NotTak3n Oct 21 '21

Pull out my straw

2

u/Admiral_Falco_88 Oct 21 '21

Saw this and lolled. Then thought how easiest to do it. Bit of sticky tape couple of buckets and a pokey stick. Stickytape a bit of the bag on the side. Poke a hole and flow into bucket. Still I'd go with poke with a stick and then run

2

u/impreetycool Oct 21 '21

i would quit

2

u/Mikaj577 Oct 21 '21

if I saw it, I would leave for my own safety

2

u/TheMooney Oct 21 '21

Actual janitor here, you walk out pretending you didn't see it and call the facilities helpline from your mobile and get a different janitor(preferably one you don't like) to deal with it

2

u/Prestigious-Term-166 Oct 21 '21

What you mean that’s XXXX gold

2

u/PiBombbb Oct 21 '21

Fuck the bag and pop it

2

u/Bionic_system3 Oct 21 '21

Why is there an underwear inside the bag?

2

u/freezsky_03 Oct 21 '21

stick a straw in it its a capree sun

2

u/-Fancy_Pants- Oct 21 '21

Slurp Slurp