r/dankmemes 7d ago

big pp

68k Upvotes

u/MedicatedAxeBot 7d ago

Dank.


i am a bot. please stop trying to argue with me. you look like an idiot. join our discord.

→ More replies

1k

u/Metal_meatballs 7d ago

How did you fracture your boner?

667

u/Shughost7 7d ago

Some random guy threw some metal meatballs at my pp and the impact broke my boner.

206

u/FrankieBigNut The rest of reddit sucks 7d ago

That’s what you get for stealing my pizza!

125

u/ItalicsWhore 7d ago

“Mama Mia Malkova! That’s soma spicy meatballsa!

17

u/testedbeast551 7d ago

pasta la vista baby

29

u/marn20 7d ago

You sure it wasn’t Elon musk? I’ve heard he also throws metal balls

2

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed]

4

u/ActionScripter9109 EX-NORMIE 7d ago

^ This user, QuarantineSucksALot, is a bot that uses fragments of real comments to generate fake ones ("Markov chain" algorithm). When you encounter bots on reddit posing as real people, don't downvote below 0 (they delete the evidence). Instead, report them to the admins. https://www.reddit.com/report

6

u/Mrfoxsin 7d ago

Wow talk about new levels of deep fakes

→ More replies

7

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed]

3

u/Shughost7 7d ago

I hear "squid game" a lot recently, what is it? What platform?

6

u/Mushroomman642 7d ago

It's a Korean TV drama series on Netflix. It's pretty good from what I've seen so far, but I haven't finished it yet. Extremely violent, though. Definitely not for the squeamish.

3

u/user-nt BigM0nkey gave me a flair 7d ago

The Oil Platform in the Ocean, any of them has it.

1

u/The_Crusades 7d ago

It’s a show on Netflix

6

u/-luckycharms 7d ago

It was pretty easy to hit with how big it was

3

u/Shughost7 7d ago

Nah, it was all luck due to them wearing a luckycharm.

6

u/-luckycharms 7d ago

Hey that's me! I think

2

u/gbuub The Monty Pythons 7d ago

He would’ve hit it out of the park if it wasn’t for the meatballs being bowling ball sized

→ More replies

3

u/candypiece 7d ago

You got MEATBALLED!!!

→ More replies

2

u/Big_Dick_No_Brain 7d ago

I stubbed my toe on mine once

2

u/Metal_meatballs 7d ago

Oh... So, did I- I broke your boner?

2

u/Shughost7 7d ago

YES YOU DID, DON'T DENY IT YOU BONER BREAKER!!

cries

2

u/Metal_meatballs 7d ago

I'm so sorry man, but I can't control it. breaks down

2

u/TikTok_is_trash 6d ago

Where they spinning by any chance?

→ More replies

69

u/FinestOldToby 7d ago

recreational activities

34

u/Switcher1776 7d ago

As much fun as it sounds, you shouldn't use your penis as a racket while playing tennis.

16

u/themrandthemisses 7d ago edited 7d ago

Once, my husband sat on his penis while bouncing on an exercise ball and tore his urethra. Took him months to heal

12

u/ContrarianThinking 7d ago

Jesus

2

u/Parkingjas Eic memer 7d ago

Jesus

4

u/ASingleDarkThread 7d ago

Cowgirl position? I feel like that's the common culprit.

1

u/SukoshiKanatomo 7d ago

Get well soon

→ More replies

10

u/Castor_volk 7d ago

I mean, there are literally video of porn hub of people doing it. It's not pretty. basically a massive muscle tear.

5

u/Cm0002 Obamasjuicyass 7d ago

Did anybody else's dick shrivel up inside after reading this.......

8

u/Abject-Temperat 7d ago

pp so big it actually does have a bone in it to support the weight.

5

u/Axe_Murderers_Unite 7d ago

He had to maneuver that boner that much in just a small clip, image doing it for 8 hours.

4

u/WeComeFromTheDust 7d ago

True Fact: I knew a guy in college and his gf was riding him. She came down hard and popped his boner. It was purple as hell from what he said.

3

u/BloodprinceOZ 7d ago

he slammed it in his car door

2

u/a_burdie_from_hell 7d ago

I got into a regular sized elevator just in time to see a cute blonde in a crop top walking off. Then the door shut.

2

u/LogicalComa 7d ago

Statistically? Probably reverse cowgirl.

1

u/HayMomWatchThis 7d ago

In Your mom

→ More replies

420

u/Spider-verse 7d ago

What do you do for work?

452

u/chill4r_San 7d ago

Laying pipes.

41

u/Shhsecretacc 7d ago

That got meta fast

40

u/Bikouchu 7d ago

Better question is who does number 2 work for?

16

u/Devilalfi 7d ago

The person who's always after me lucky charms.

1

u/bluDVD9 7d ago

A maybe equal question is why is Gamora?

→ More replies
→ More replies

256

u/Successful_Detail521 7d ago

POV

117

u/SumPpl 7d ago

That guy in the slightly blue shirt keeps holding his penis every time they move for some reason

48

u/BigBoiBob444 Eic memer 7d ago

Gay

13

u/JeremyDaBanana 7d ago

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

9

u/Comfortable_Visual73 7d ago

It’s really nice of him to guide his coworker through the office so he doesn’t hurt himself

→ More replies
→ More replies

222

u/matthigast Mods love that juicy D 7d ago

Good thing your job has such wide hallways and such a large elevator

93

u/Afterburn47 I have crippling depression 7d ago

And friends helping you out.

20

u/dingman58 Proud Furry 7d ago

I get by with a little help from my friends

8

u/bkaybee 7d ago

Always there to lend a hand or two.

2

u/garret126 7d ago

Billy Shears!

→ More replies

6

u/MetalJohn85 7d ago

That's what she said

2

u/Atomic235 7d ago

Looks like it could be an art gallery or something.

→ More replies

70

u/ThanosAsAPrincess 7d ago

The new Netflix series Squid Game features four women navigating the perils of the porn industry.

Each of the four main characters (played by Erika Christensen, Alexandra Daddario, Asia Kate Dillon, and Maia Mitchell) is at a different stage in her life. Erika is a new mom; Maia is in her second season of college; Alexandra is in the middle of a divorce; and Asia Kate is in her third season of being a working actress. Their lives are, at least at the outset, in no way linked.

Squid Game, as the show is aptly named, explores this fact. The four characters come together in this shared space of the adult film industry in California, to create a world that they’ve only known as one. Through flashbacks, we’re given a glimpse into how their stories came together. As the show begins, we’re presented with the possibility of this being a story about a group of friends becoming connected to a place they might not have been before.

61

u/Ic3yFr0ggy 7d ago

I disagree.

14

u/PweatySenis 7d ago

Respectfully

→ More replies

39

u/SnooPineapples3186 7d ago

Wtf are you talking about

47

u/guesswhatihate 7d ago

The new south Korean thriller Squirt Game available on clitflix

8

u/Gusty_Garden_Galaxy 7d ago

Pretty sure its north Korean.

8

u/theskyalreadyfell217 7d ago

It’s South Korean, some of the players are refugees from North Korea.

→ More replies

1

u/dontshoot4301 7d ago

Thank you, I felt like I was going crazy

5

u/MaxFactory 7d ago

Maybe sit the next one out

33

u/Dr4ar1 7d ago

watch it again with this ost. thank me later

5

u/jayko86 7d ago

I Didn’t know I needed this

2

u/Zenketski souptime 7d ago

God damn.

→ More replies

27

u/Sashimi228 ☣️ 7d ago

rest in peace dick

23

u/themrandthemisses 7d ago

Dick injuries are no joke. Once, my husband sat on his penis while bouncing on an exercise ball and tore his urethra.

Took him several months to heal, and he’d scream every time he peed. It was kinda hot.

25

u/Sashimi228 ☣️ 7d ago

please i need eye bleach after reading that lol

6

u/themrandthemisses 7d ago

Pm me then 😘

8

u/ASingleDarkThread 7d ago

My dude must have had some blue fuckin balls during those months

3

u/themrandthemisses 7d ago

Yeah tbh I felt bad for making him get hard bc it didn’t look like it felt nice lol

→ More replies

2

u/Parallel37 7d ago

Welp, that's gonna haunt me.

→ More replies

18

u/Jamieyo7 7d ago

missed opportunity to finally use POV right

10

u/flashjonny 7d ago

What is this from?

36

u/MetalJohn85 7d ago

It literally says in the title

23

u/DoverBoys yvan eht nioj 7d ago

Metropolitan Museum of Art's "Grand Design" exhibit from 2014.
Post is the first 10 seconds of a stop-motion behind-the-scenes installation of one of the tapestries.

Main page

Slate article

Unlisted YouTube reupload by Slate

2

u/IA-HI-CO-IA 6d ago

The shear scale of the facility is amazing

8

u/DadIMeanBill 7d ago

An old Reddit post with the same title

9

u/Mol10Lava 7d ago

14

u/DuckOnQuak 7d ago

Yeah I swear this gets posted every 6 months with that exact same title.

→ More replies

5

u/Distinct_Ad_4495 7d ago

Official penis handler seems to be enjoying his job.

4

u/hmm_mp3 7d ago

4

u/RedditMP4Bot 7d ago

Download MP4


Mention u/RedditMP4Bot under a post to download reddit videos and gifs from v.redd.it, i.redd.it, youtube, imgur, twitter, gfycat, gif-vif, streamable, redgifs, giphy etc.

2

u/chill4r_San 7d ago

So how much do you pay the guy carrying your wood around, and how frequently so you make him say "no homo"?

2

u/PillowTalk420 7d ago

broken penis surgery

Who the hell gets surgery to break their penis?

3

u/SoloSurvivor889 7d ago

We can rebuild him. We have the technology.

2

u/PillowTalk420 7d ago

...But we don't want to spend a lot of money.

→ More replies

2

u/[deleted] 7d ago

Stolen meme.

2

u/Tankpiggy ☝ FOREVER NUMBER ONE ☝ 7d ago

Stolen from OKBR but still funny

1

u/Iknowthevoid 7d ago

Is this a scene from the movie Downsizing?

1

u/Electronic-Injury-15 7d ago

I see someone signed the cast, hope you learned your lesson to stay away from glory holes.

1

u/SAM-in-the-DARK 7d ago

Looks like this isn’t the first time your coworkers have tugged that thing around

1

u/Giuseppe_leg 7d ago

Finally a meme i can relate to

1

u/Nao_593 7d ago

I’m sorry they had to shrunk it, this really must be a difficult time for you man. Know I got you.

1

u/_furd_terguson 7d ago

Yuuuuuuuuuge

1

u/delimitedjest 7d ago

Doug Dimmadong

1

u/Corky_Butcher 7d ago

They looked like they were shit talking you in the lift

1

u/rhdking13 7d ago

Longest day ever

1

u/CheesyMan2022 7d ago

This is me but I'm physically disabled from it

2

u/Darnell2070 EX-NORMIE 2d ago

You need friends to help you carry the load.

→ More replies

1

u/fartyfartstein 7d ago

Skip the elevator

1

u/fartyfartstein 7d ago

Your gonna need a giraffe for oral

1

u/neklidkid 7d ago

I’m glad hr found people to compensate your health issues, it’s not easy to get that now a days

1

u/BtroldedKallaMik 7d ago

I am pretty sure that was extension. You did not break it. It's okay, be honest.

1

u/maxultra64 7d ago

daft punk's robot rock is missing

1

u/native_usurper 7d ago

Pssht , your penis actually fits in a freight elevator? What a loser.

1

u/sausage4mash 7d ago

Get well soon bro

1

u/Alkohonecker 7d ago

Flagt this as misinformation

1

u/Rude_Journalist 7d ago

Reddit should have a big discount? :(

1

u/Alberth64 7d ago

Impossible, a funny r/dankmemes post?

1

u/devinlor 7d ago

Slow down on the viagra

1

u/To0n1 7d ago

first read this as pelvis...

ffs, I'm getting old smh

1

u/EatYourGrandpa 7d ago

Hey she broke her penis!

1

u/peDro_with_a_big_D The Great P.P. Group 7d ago

I'm big pp and can relate

1

u/Lenonidas 7d ago

Get that workers comp

1

u/Kamil263 7d ago

Swear they just went inti the ‘Five’ elevator

1

u/Krumm34 7d ago

Theres a Liam Neeson joke in here somewhere.

...How Big Is It!!!

→ More replies

1

u/speshulguy 7d ago

Yeah I remember my first reduction procedure

→ More replies

1

u/Givesthegold 7d ago

Tell em to give the shaft some love goddamn all these people just playin with the tip only smh

1

u/darkwatersinking 7d ago

Nice of your male coworker to be alright with handling the other end.

1

u/Longjumping_Kale 7d ago

Watch the tip!

1

u/qqqqqqqqqqx10 7d ago

Good thing they added handles at the end.

1

u/Supermunch2000 7d ago

Poor guy, had to have it cut in half.

F

1

u/JetoCalihan 7d ago

Weird. Humans aren't supposed to have a baculum. Must be 3 raccoons in a trench coat again.

1

u/bic77 7d ago

Lol

1

u/aliengsxr 7d ago

Kan I get sum fuk?

1

u/SaukPuhpet 7d ago

Do you work at Black Mesa? Seriously though, where is this?

→ More replies

1

u/AntoKrist 7d ago

Got shot in the dick but your dick still standin

1

u/Dotaproffessional 7d ago

Where these fuckers work, black mesa?

1

u/raftelisnear 7d ago

Funeral episode of Gintama 😂

1

u/ram_the_socket 7d ago

First time?

1

u/Poobutt6 7d ago

Lmao this is one of the only actually funny posts I've seen in this sub

1

u/Blue00toque 7d ago

I will forever down vote dick jokes

1

u/Jabrangus 7d ago

Half Life 3 graphics look good

1

u/polymonomial 7d ago

Thats way too much cast for ur pp

1

u/SpookDaDook 7d ago

Damn when do you get the cast off.

1

u/StressTree 7d ago

Why does the upvote counter say '20....'

1

u/Navity7l Article 69 🏅 7d ago

I remember seeing this gif with this caption at least 10 years ago

1

u/QuarantineSucksALot 7d ago

Your pp is perfect in any size

1

u/spencersalan 7d ago

Looks like my job!

1

u/YeHeed2 7d ago

We've all been there once or twice

1

u/sharedthrowdown 7d ago

Stop, stop!

I can only get so erect!

1

u/SoloSurvivor889 7d ago

"Oh, use a little duct tape right here. Boom. Saved 5 bucks."

1

u/Razir14 7d ago

Did that guy say no homo when he grabbed the tip like that?

1

u/IA-HI-CO-IA 7d ago

What kind of facility is this?

1

u/andio76 7d ago

So they didn't take the broken part OUT of your Ass?

1

u/coolplate 7d ago

Lisa from accounting like "hey boy, hey"

1

u/nickanick12 7d ago

They wrong for this lmao

1

u/fkrditadms 7d ago

no such thing as first or etc, bigx s inferiox bloat, doesnt matter

1

u/Beginning_Access1498 7d ago

She won't be able to suck it :(

1

u/insanityking500 7d ago

The one time a POV is done correctly, there’s no POV in the meme/title.

1

u/DrewbitTaylor 7d ago

Me, cracking the fuck up at this. My girlfriend: “you’re stupid.”