r/confidentlyincorrect Oct 20 '21 Silver 1 Helpful 2 Wholesome 2 Hugz 2

“I’m Italian and this is hurting me”

24.2k Upvotes

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4.5k

u/Walking_Backward Oct 20 '21

I watched a documentary yesterday that said tomatoes didn't really become a staple of Italian cuisine until around 1880. Kind of surprising.

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u/cobigguy Oct 20 '21 Silver

That's because they're from the new world. They were brought back from the Americas.

828

u/powerchonk Oct 20 '21

The Americas were discovered in the 15th century though, it still took a long time for tomatoes to reach the italian kitchen then!

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u/cobigguy Oct 20 '21

It took them a long time to reach common use. They were already in common use in the Americas, but you have to consider how long it took to travel back and forth back then. It wasn't as easy as hopping on a plane with your fresh fruit.

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u/gmalivuk Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 21 '21

It had very little to do with travel time, considering how potatoes and corn and chocolate and numerous other New World plants gained popularity hundreds of years before tomatoes.

Probably more to do with the fact that many people thought they were poisonous.

Edit: Yes, I'm well aware that fresh tomatoes don't travel well. Are you people aware that seeds exist?

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u/KingFrostine66 Oct 20 '21

Fun fact, did you know that when they first started growing in popularity across Europe, most people at them like apples. That really disturbing scene in lord of the rings where whatshisface is just gnashing a tomato like that is fairly historically accurate.

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u/No_Marionberry4370 Oct 20 '21

Oh i love to do that if they are fresh. We grazed in the garden as kids.

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u/Mr-_-Soandso Oct 20 '21

I'm a gardener/ landscaper. I take care of quite a few of my clients veggie gardens and graze on tomatoes, broccoli, brussel sprouts, and whatever else looks nice while I'm taking care of things. All of the veggies can be prepared much better, but the freshies are still great to snack on! Especially when you would rather keep working than take a full break.

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u/Magnus_The_Totem_Cat Oct 20 '21

Only about half my peas make it to the house.

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u/jkeele9a Oct 20 '21 Helpful

I have a young son. Only about half of the peas make it from the bag to the plate. And probably less than half of his pees make it to the toilet.

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u/CeaserDidNufingWrong Oct 20 '21

I used to eat ripe tomatoes with sugar

This combination was godly! Probably still is

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u/Asmundr_ Oct 21 '21

I eat them with salt.

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u/burritosavior Oct 21 '21

You should try adding a little basil, bread, and cheese. It's amazing!

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u/pietpauk Oct 20 '21

I love how you say "historically accurate" about a fictional world. Not a problem, just hilarious

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u/khaemwaset2 Oct 20 '21

Pretty sure this is accurate to today since tomatoes are delicious and I have done this in the past. Nowadays it's cherry/grape tomatoes since it's easier.

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u/iThinkergoiMac Oct 20 '21

Since no one has said it yet, the guy you’re thinking of is Denethor.

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u/KennyFulgencio Oct 20 '21

...what exactly do you have against people eating tomatoes like apples right now?!

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u/KingFrostine66 Oct 20 '21

Personally, nothing, I used to do it quite often when my family grew tomatoes, I don’t have as much free access as I used to so I don’t do it as often now, but I have nothing against it. I have seen a fair bit of hate for it over on the lotr sub

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u/danuker Oct 20 '21

just gnashing a tomato

That's cause tomatoes are a FRUIT!

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u/DrBabbage Oct 21 '21

Here in Germany they tried eating the top of the plant which is toxic and the people did not trust those plants bexause of that. The people were so against potatoes that he had to get really creative to get the people to cultivate them. A Myth says that he let his soldiers guard the potatofields and send them away in the night so that they would steal the potatos because the poor people would think that those potatoes are valuable.

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u/Mozzielium Oct 20 '21

This is actually just a myth. People knew they weren’t poisonous, they were part of native diets well before Europeans showed up. Europeans just didn’t become accustomed to the taste for quite some time

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u/jtshinn Oct 20 '21

I read that the poison had to do with eating them on pewter service ware that had lead in it that the tomatoes acids leeched out. But common folks eating on wood, or ceramics didn't face the same issue.

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u/Burningshroom Oct 20 '21

It's because they're part of Solanum, the plant genus that includes nightshades which are deadly (not to be confused with Deadly Nightshade, Atropa belladonna).

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u/MauPow Oct 20 '21

So are potatoes and Europeans fucking love those

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u/Burningshroom Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

As are eggplants, which also had a historical belief to be poisonous.

I didn't pick and choose what plants they felt were poisonous.

By the way, there is a method that can be employed to breed a plant that produces both tomatoes and potatoes. Done correctly and you'll double your crop. Done incorrectly and both will be deadly.

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u/gmalivuk Oct 20 '21

There were poisonous and inedible varieties according to the Wikipedia article, which supports the idea that folks might have been uninterested in trying other varieties in their diet.

Though the fact that they're not particularly filling also probably played a part, in contrast to potatoes and corn.

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u/viewerrr Oct 20 '21

Indeed there are many cousins of tomatoes (Solanum) which are poisonous around the world. Some just hallucinogenic. I don’t blame their scepticism.

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u/goforce5 Oct 21 '21

Hallucinogenic tomatoes, you say?

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u/ImOnlyHereForTheCoC Oct 21 '21

Right? Sign me up for some of those tripmatoes!

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u/sweetwaterfall Oct 20 '21

I mean, seeds travel quite well. I doubt anyone was eating rotten tomatoes

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u/PaisleyTackle Oct 21 '21

You’re in the right subreddit.

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u/Killerhurz Oct 20 '21

Tomatoes are a part of the nightshade family, which is poisonous. They thought tomatoes were too, until someone was desperate enough to eat them. Then it was poor people food.

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u/robgod50 Oct 20 '21

That's like 300 years!!!! If they'd started with $50 to buy the tomato plants, it should have only take 6 months to have more tomatoes to grow.

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u/1king80 Oct 20 '21

And also thought to be poisonous!

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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21 edited 4d ago

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u/Donald_J_Putin Oct 20 '21

Most all shit people act like is their most sacred traditional food is barely over a century old. Pretty much everything we eat changed drastically in the early to mid 20th century with things like war, emigration, technology of food production and preservation, etc.

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u/jpritchard Oct 20 '21

Yeah, before 150 or so years ago, food fucking sucked. Everything we eat, even the poor people, is fucking AMAZING compared to what they had.

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u/wyndchilde Oct 20 '21

Actually I know this one! When tomatoes first came over, people were eating them off of pewter plates. Not the safe pewter we have now, but the I'm going to kill you good Pewter in the back old days with lead and stuff. The more acidic fruit, the tomato, ate away at the protective layers and allowed a lot of metal poisoning into the food and people were getting sick. It was not the tomatoes salt, it was their shoddy plate ware.

But people assumed it was the tomatoes. They even use them decoratively for a while, thinking that they were deadly. At some point someone got brave enough to try it.

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u/user12345678910123 Oct 20 '21

Fun fact related to this! In the third Lord of the Rings movie, the Steward of Gondor (Denethor) who went mad, was shown eating tomatoes off of a pewter plate during the pivotal scene where he had sent his son to die

https://youtu.be/zmj25u5mVvg?t=31

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u/kevoizjawesome Oct 21 '21

Ah yes the scene where he has tomato dribbling down his face.

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u/Dragonslayer3 Oct 21 '21

That scene causes me pain

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u/CuriousTralfamadore Oct 20 '21

Also tomatoes are part of the nightshade family where many of plants are extremely poisonous. Including the tomato like fruit that grows on potato plants. My mom grows potatoes and tomatoes in her garden and she always makes sure to prune off the flowers of the potato plants so my nieces don't accidently eat them thinking that they are tomatoes

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u/BassSounds Oct 20 '21

Tomatoes are also why we have the pure food and drug act in the USA. In the early 1900’s, we were still bad at preserving food, so tomatoes were made into a ketchup (catsup?).

But, many bottled tomato ketchup and added their own preservatives; one being rat poison. When people started dying from the ketchup, our lawmakers passed the 1906 Food and Drug Act. Heinz and Hunts were the only two not adding rat poison, so they persist until today.

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u/Buzzkid Oct 21 '21

Heinz is the only true ketchup. Fight me.

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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 30 '21

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u/om0926 Oct 21 '21

Even with the legit Italians it STILL varies because someone from Naples and someone from Rome will fight over which of their pizzas is the “correcter” pizza

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '21 edited Oct 30 '21

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u/Neconomancer Oct 20 '21

It is a recent tradition, only 18-years-old, but it is a tradition none the less

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u/BostonBasketballBoys Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

Also spicy food didn't reach Asia/Middle east (who are now well known for spicy food) until after the Americas were settled "discovered".

Edit: Columbus not the Mayflower

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u/starm4nn Oct 20 '21

Ramune has been a part of Japanese cuisine longer than most meat dishes have

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u/Sherif34 Oct 20 '21

Ahhhh, the Columbian exchange, where the old world got tomatoes and spices, and the new world got invasion and smallpox

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u/jpritchard Oct 20 '21

And brassicas, and coffee, and horses.

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u/tetraourogallus Oct 21 '21

...cattle, pigs, lamb, chicken, citrus, grape, onion, wheat, rice etc

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u/naliedel Oct 20 '21

What till they pull a piece. It's all.cheese.

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u/freakers Oct 20 '21

It's a God damn tomato casserole in a bread bowl!

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u/joker2814 Oct 20 '21 Gold Wholesome

An above ground marinara swimming pool for rats!

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u/YCANTUSTFU Oct 21 '21

I’m fully in the ‘Chicago Style is fucking excellent’ camp, but that’s hilarious.

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u/BUFBills_AfricasTeam Oct 21 '21

I'm fully in the "call it whatever you fucking want, it's delicious and I'm eating half" camp

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u/BarnyTrubble Oct 21 '21

I agree, but I also want to witness someone eating half a Chicago style pizza by themselves, that would be impressive

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u/FirstPost10-18-2030 Oct 21 '21

If you buy me one, I'll eat the whole thing in front of you

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u/totallyanonuser Oct 21 '21

Forgive him lord for he knows not what he asks

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u/AssistantManagerMan Oct 21 '21

And in defiance of god and man you've put uncooked marinara atop the cheese. Atop the cheese! The sauce naked, exposed, like some kind of sauce whore!

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u/CosmicTurtle504 Oct 21 '21 Helpful

“I don’t know whether to eat it or throw a coin in it and make a wish. And if I did make a wish, you know what I’d wish for? Some REAL FUCKING PIZZA.”

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u/AdHocWarlock Oct 21 '21 edited Oct 21 '21

I wanna know that when I get drunk and pass out on my pizza that I’m not gonna drown.

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u/nhannon87 Oct 21 '21

With the sauce naked, on display, like some sauce whore

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u/Atlascrushed94 Oct 20 '21

God I miss Jon Stewart

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u/phome83 Oct 20 '21

Wish his show wasn't only on Apple TV or whatever their streaming service. Really wanted to check it out.

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u/EnTyme53 Oct 21 '21

When I get drunk and pass out in my pizza, I wanna know I'm not gonna drown.

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u/RugerRedhawk Oct 21 '21

He knows.that. he's just poorly acting like he doesn't.

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u/cbost Oct 20 '21

Dude has no idea that Chicago style pizza is like 50% cheese. It is good, but hits pretty different. If they put the cheese on top with the long bake time it would be brown at the end.

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u/AnalogDigit2 Oct 20 '21

It's clearly like 2 inches thick. Does he think that's all dough or more sauce or something else? If they separated one of those slices out, it would have a cheese pull that would go for miles.

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u/squanch_solo Oct 20 '21

It's obviously a tomato soup bread bowl.

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u/GiorgioTsoukalosHair Oct 20 '21

I don't know if I should eat it, or throw a coin in it and make a wish.

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u/SassyBonassy Oct 20 '21

I've never had Chicago deep dish so i looked to me like just dough and tomato sauce/maybe the toppings like pepperoni etc. in the middle. Relieved to hear the cheese is the filling, as im visiting Chicago next year or 2023

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u/yarky_info Oct 21 '21

Chicago style pizza is worth a try but as a native I would encourage you to go to ANY local (non-chain) restaurants and try anything. Chicago has really good food across the board. Also, just like with ‘normal’ pizza, there’s a ton of variety with deep dish. Places like Lou’s and Pizzeria Uno will give ya a buttery crispier crust, while Giordano’s or Pequod’s is gonna be a more bready experience (my preference.) Hope you enjoy your trip when you do make it out here!

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u/blueeyedn8 Oct 21 '21

Before I moved to Chicago 20 years ago, I asked a native what was the best restaurant in Chicago. She said, “The city of Chicago.” “Ok cool,” I say, “I’ll check it out” “No, the city of Chicago is filled with the beat restaurants in the world! You can’t fail.” 20 years and 40 lbs later, I still agree with her.

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u/hothrous Oct 21 '21

Wife and I went to Chicago just before the pandemic. Asked a bunch of the Lyft drivers while we were there where to go and ended up at Lou Malnatti's. It changed pizza for me. I still like the thin slices I get at home, but the deep dish at that place was something else entirely.

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u/boringwaddles Oct 21 '21

Yeah, I'm from Chicago. Calling deep dish a pizza is really doing a disservice to both regular and deep dish pizzas. It's all the same ingredients, but not at all the same dish. Like calling a burrito a taco, yeah everything in it can be the same. But the way it's assembled changes everything because you're getting differing proportions in each bite.

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u/hothrous Oct 21 '21

That was my experience. I'm one that doesn't care about authenticity in food as long as it tastes good.

Deep dish is freaking good

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u/lifesizejenga Oct 21 '21

Okay I know everyone raves about their own favorite place, and they're pretty much all good - but please, I'm begging you, go to Lou Malnati's.

It's not just the best pizza I've ever had, it's genuinely the best food I've ever had. Their deep dish has a crunchier, more buttery crust than some of the others, and IMO that's vital when the rest of the pizza is so soft and chewy.

Fuck I need some Lou's

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u/cupasoups Oct 20 '21

Yeah, he's fucking stupid. My guess is that he's just being disingenuous for his tik tok idiots.

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u/The_Ninja21 Oct 20 '21

a disingenuous dense motherfucker if you will

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u/rymor Oct 20 '21

Guy doesn’t sound Italian

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u/rupertpupkin188 Oct 21 '21 Helpful Wholesome

Because he’s not. He’s just another American claiming to be from the same place his distant 3rd cousins grandmas uncle was from.

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u/JabbaThePrincess Oct 21 '21

He’s just another American claiming to be from the same place his distant 3rd cousins grandmas uncle was from.

Sometimes these people also have the gall to make fun of other immigrants for "not integrating"

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u/k_albasi Oct 21 '21

You're supposed to be completely indistinguishable culturally but then instead of saying you're American you say you're Irish or Italian or German.

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u/Insert_us3rname_here Oct 21 '21

He just says “I’m Italian” out of the blue so we know he he’s Italian when he’s most likely not

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u/vw85ni19 Oct 21 '21

I hate this about americans

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u/Slackestofpandas Oct 21 '21

The blag Irish ones are the worst

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u/Idle-Hands- Oct 21 '21

'Plastic Paddies'

Was in Vegas one time (I'm from Ireland), talking to an EMT who was helping out a friend on the trip and he goes on and on about how he's Irish, by like, some 16ths or something I don't know. Anyway, I told him we have a name for fake Irish people and that is 'Plastic Paddy', the guy just laughed and said he was going to use that on them.

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u/SprinkleGoose Oct 21 '21

I was wondering the other day what the Scottish equivalent to a 'plastic paddy' would be, because I've had a fair few Americans tell me in their very American accent that they're Scottish and "would LOVE to visit there some day". Probably the same folks on the r/Scotland sub that write comments in the cringiest, barely legible 'Scots' I've ever seen.

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u/Idle-Hands- Oct 21 '21

Aye I actually live in Scotland now and I've heard them do the same thing, maybe 'Sham Scott'?

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u/StarsideCowboy Oct 21 '21

As far as I know, in Glasgow we just use 'wank'.

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u/nocternal86 Oct 21 '21

Yeah, I worked in a couple of Edinburgh hotels and spent most of my time serving Americans that were absolutely convinced that they were Scottish.

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u/IrishRover33 Oct 21 '21

Was dating an American girl for a while, I'm Irish. Visiting the States once and one of her friends asked if I would be able to tell if a person was Irish. I said sure, it's easy enough to recognise Irish accents. She then told me that she was Irish.

She sure didn't sound Irish so I asked her whereabouts in Ireland she was from. She didn't know. She didn't know because she had never set foot in Ireland and was claiming the nationality because her great grandmother was Irish.

Amazing how some of them make these claims!

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u/Val_Hallen Oct 21 '21

I'm 3rd generation American. My mother's parents came over during WWII from Ashton-Under-Lyne, England.

I don't claim to be English. I'm American.

I think the individualism of Americans make them claim these heritages in order to stand out from those around them.

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u/mrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Oct 21 '21 Hugz

I'm Italian and I hate this about Americans

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u/maxleclair Oct 21 '21

i’m american and i hate this about americans lol

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u/Replayer123 Oct 21 '21

Im German, have to explain to every third American or so that they are not German they should stop trying to compensate for their own lack of identity and that Merkel isn't ruining the country +the Turkish immigrants who have been born here are 100 times more German than them.

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u/OasissisaO Oct 20 '21

Don't show this guy tomato pie.

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u/Binger_bingleberry Oct 21 '21

… which, ironically, is more Italian than him…

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u/shamelessseamus Oct 20 '21

He doesn't sound Italian. He has an American accent. I guess he could have emigrated.

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u/skratakh Oct 20 '21

Sounds American to me. Also traditional Neapolitan pizzas don't always have cheese on them anyway.

Americans claiming to be other nationalities are weird.

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u/StalwartTinSoldier Oct 20 '21

Yeah, flat pizza with just tomato sauce (pizza rossa) is pretty big in Rome, particularly early in the day.

This guy is wrong in many ways.

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u/Tight_Ad2047 Oct 20 '21

Also traditional Sicilian(Palermo) dish, called Sfinciuni https://it.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sfincione

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u/untakenu Oct 20 '21

That's how I eat it. I hate cheese. Fuck this "Italian" guy.

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u/Noisyhamster10 Oct 20 '21

Deep dish usually still has cheese on it, just that the tomato sauce is on top of all the toppings instead of below it.

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u/phaiz55 Oct 20 '21

I thought that was just Chicago style in general. Everything is just below the sauce.

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u/Noisyhamster10 Oct 20 '21

There's a Chicago style pizza place near me and it's only their deep dish that's like that.

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u/the_vermi Oct 21 '21

Chicago style thin-crust, aka pub style, has the cheese and sauce in the proper order.

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u/EspressoBot Oct 20 '21

You don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear that someone else also eats pizza without cheese

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u/HELLOhappyshop Oct 20 '21

I had to give up dairy over a decade ago, so I also eat pizza without cheese. Not really by choice though lol

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u/silver_quinn Oct 20 '21

My people!!

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u/rehabilitated_4chanr Oct 20 '21

Also Detroit pizza puts the sauce on top of the (shittons) of cheese. Not sure why an Italian has the final word on Detroit pizza....but the least he could have done is look up what that even means.

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u/pandaheartzbamboo Oct 21 '21

Thats Chicago style. Not Detroit. Detroit has cheese on top and is a different deep dish from Chicago deep dish.

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u/jaguar879 Oct 20 '21

Reminds me of the episode of the Sopranos when they go to Italy and have no idea what the food is.

I also cringe when people claim to be their ancestor’s nationality. How is it that your great grandmother being from Italy makes you know more about pizza than I do? You grew up eating the same shitty little Caesar’s I did.

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u/Sgt_Smitty Oct 20 '21

Reminds me of the episode of the Sopranos when they go to Italy and have no idea what the food is.

My favorite episode! Paulie was so confused.

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u/Analcuntt Oct 20 '21

Just bring me some macaroni and gravy!

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u/gwoshmi Oct 20 '21

"And you said the Germans had no class"

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u/BeardOfEarth Oct 20 '21

Correct quote - “And you thought the Germans were classless pieces of shit.”

Shows what the real Italians think of the New Jersey crew.

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u/blixabloxa Oct 20 '21

And the Italian waiter saying something like - "Che cazzo e stu gravy?" What the fuck is this gravy? I love the Sopranos.

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u/loki0203 Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 21 '21

Commendatore!

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u/MrHermeteeowish Oct 21 '21

Such a great episode. Christopher was so stoked to see Mount Vesuvius but wound up spending the entire trip in his hotel room doing heroin. Classic.

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u/RPofkins Oct 21 '21

I like how he acted like he had the time of his life when he got back to the states.

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u/314159265358979326 Oct 20 '21

Reminds me of the episode of the Sopranos when they go to Italy and have no idea what the food is.

I was so embarrassed for them.

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u/DoctorLovejuice Oct 20 '21

This seems to be rife on social media etc aswell, even dating apps

"20% Latina, 20% Scottish, 40% Nicaraguan, 20% Japanese ✌🏼✌🏼💦"

Why does it matter lol

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u/MrCharmingTaintman Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 21 '21

Cant wait for the eventual fallout of all those ancestry companies being sold including all the info they collected.

Edit: Turns out Blackstone already bought ancestry.com last year

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u/JakeCameraAction Oct 21 '21

They're already being used to solve murders through familial DNA.
Someone related to the Golden State Killer submitted their DNA to one and it matched so they figured it had to be his uncle (or something) and were able to get that relative's DNA and match it to the crime scenes.

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u/tetraourogallus Oct 21 '21

Some people need to find a forced identity cause they're boring.

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u/Fathertedisbrilliant Oct 20 '21

As a real Irish person, have to say I strongly agree. America's deeply rooted absence of cultural identity sure has had some odd side effects.

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u/jaguar879 Oct 20 '21

For some reason it’s particularly strong with Irish and Italian. The funny thing is almost everyone is mixed to some extent.

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u/Sgt_Smitty Oct 20 '21

It's because for a long time the Irish and Italians were ostracized by American society, so by default they became pretty insular.

https://www.irishcentral.com/roots/history/love-hate-relationship-irish-italian-americans

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u/Downgoesthereem Oct 20 '21

It's strongest in the communities that used to be highly ostracised. Nowadays it's a glorified novelty and used like a bumper sticker. You never see anywhere near as many talking about German heritage because it doesn't make poeple feel as interesting, despite having the same (or lack thereof) level of influence on them.

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u/philgil03 Oct 20 '21

How about African American. At least others like Italians and Irish have a treeline or stories or food passed down that tie them to a cultural identity. Not knowing any of that and being a true cultural American is rough. I can't culturally relate to anyone outside of America, even Africans are like "he is not us"...

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u/TWK128 Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 21 '21

One reason that I think it could be argued that African/Black Americans are the most truly American culturally because so little of the original cultures they're descended from was received because of how they arrived. Most can claim some tether or tie to some nation abroad and there may be real continuities still present in their subculture, but for Black Americans, they had to start from scratch, by and large, so all they are is American.

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u/philgil03 Oct 20 '21

I've always said this. We did bring things with us like music and food but those things lost the pre-American culture and stories around it and became... American or black American

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u/Downgoesthereem Oct 20 '21

Solid chance if an American calls themselves 'italian' they haven't even been to Italy

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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21 edited Nov 05 '21

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u/Free_Gascogne Oct 20 '21

There are Americans who are descendants of Italian Immigrants who self-identify as Italians even though they never stepped on Italy much less beyond the State they are in. I personally don't particularly have any strong feelings on this fact, but I imagine that Italians from Italy do have something to say about that.

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u/Av3ngedAngel Oct 20 '21

What you've described is literally me but Australia. My grandparents all came over here from Italy in the 50's, and while I of course to acknowledge and love my Italian heritage and the traditions that they've upheld, I am an Australian.

I was born and raised here just like my parents and while I am an Italian citizen, I wouldn't ever refer to myself as Italian primarily. It's a heritage thing rather than who I actually am.

I know a lot of people similar to me who call themselves Italian, and it's ridiculous. My brother is one of those and it just makes me cringe.

What's most important here is what u/PolOfThePot said; this debate and a lot of people tend to ignore that ethnicity and nationality are two different things.

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u/Bruch_Spinoza Oct 20 '21

He doesn’ta speaka da Italian

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u/Chill4x Oct 20 '21

He's not even wearing a hat or overalls and shouting wahoo

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u/Wahoo007 Oct 20 '21

Wahoo? Did you call for me?!

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u/FindOneInEveryCar Oct 20 '21

My first thought, too. You're Italian? Who's the prime minister of Italy?

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u/oupablo Oct 21 '21

Waluigi?

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u/NewDamage31 Oct 20 '21

I dunno this looks good to me, knowing that the cheese is underneath. I never tried it but fuck it’s pizza how bad could it be

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u/elveszett Oct 20 '21

You have to try extremely hard to make a pizza that is actually bad. Like you can throw whatever, it won't be high cuisine, but it'll taste ok because pizza works with everything.

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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21

[deleted]

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u/UnhappySunshine_PS4 Oct 21 '21

I'm pretty sure I made that as a kid on Club Penguin lol

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u/scaper28 Oct 20 '21

Don't let Jon Stewart hear you say that.

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u/apex32 Oct 20 '21

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u/katrina_highkick Oct 20 '21

My husband is from Chicago, and I am from New York, so we (jokingly) spar over pizza pretty frequently. My husband also happens to LOVE Jon Stewart, so I like to pull up this video for him every once in a while to induce cognitive dissonance ;)

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u/Numb3r_6 Oct 20 '21

As much as I like this rant, Chicago Style is fucking delicious.

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u/Aesop_Rocks Oct 20 '21

"It's a fucking casserole!!"

Fuckin a, Jon, fuckin a. Where he and I differ though is the fact that it's delicious. Pizza it is not, though.

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u/Orion14159 Oct 20 '21

Imagine a pizza pot pie and you're pretty close. It's quite tasty

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u/post_obamacore Oct 20 '21

It's an open face Calzone

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u/k_whole Oct 20 '21

The cheese being underneath the sauce makes it's very good and stringy as long as it's low moisture mozzarella. Hot take, both Chicago and New York styles are delicious.

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u/Dixnorkel Oct 20 '21

Yeah it's amazing, real deep dish is probably my favorite pizza variant, even though most people class it as a kind of casserole. It's almost impossible to perfect but when you have it done right, it's life changing.

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u/xCanont70x Oct 20 '21

Pizza is like sex, even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty damn good.

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u/myaltaccount01134 Oct 20 '21

I’d say that both sex and pizza can be pretty bad. Maybe change that to: Pizza is like sex, even when it’s bad, it’s still better than not having it.

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u/TheBadHalfOfAFandom Oct 20 '21

this dude's opinion is gonna be forever changed once he actually eats a deep dish pizza

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u/EvadesBans Oct 21 '21

Detroit-style is real fuckin' good, too.

I love all pizza. People who argue about it need a hobby.

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u/PuzzleheadedAd5995 Oct 20 '21

Chicago deep dish is about some of the best pizza I've ever had

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u/halfabean Oct 20 '21

It's fucking incredible

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u/DropkickFish Oct 20 '21

Yeah you're right on the confidently incorrect - "I'm Italian and this is hurting me"

/r/shitamericanssay

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u/Voldemort57 Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

“My grandmother was from Italy, and therefore I know more about Chicago style pizza” (WHICH IS AMERICAN IN ORIGIN, BY THE WAY)

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u/Jrook Oct 20 '21

"my Italian grandmother met my grandfather on her 13th birthday, my grandfather was a imbedded GI photographer , so don't tell me I don't know cheese pizza"

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u/WutangCND Oct 21 '21

That line was so cringe. This guy needs to remove his head from his ass.

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u/TriglycerideRancher Oct 20 '21

Lol the cheese is underneath ya fool...also I love Chicago style

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u/Chale_1488 Oct 20 '21

He is not italian.

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u/AdditionalTheory Oct 20 '21

I mean you can clearly see the cheese under the sauce. I mean maybe it’s a joke, but considering the sub, I’m taking it at face value

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u/jmorlin Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

Lived in Chicago my entire life. What you're seeing here is what's billed as Chicago style pizza and is what we feed our out of town friends and relatives when they want Chicago style. It's not bad (Lou Malnatis is my go to if I want it) but it's not the real Chicago style imo. Anyone who lives here and just orders a pizza for themselves from a local place is gonna have a thin crust taven style square cut pizza. My go to is pepponi and green olive from a place called Armand's.

Edit: pepponi

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u/Big_Gouf Oct 20 '21

Detroit style is the hidden gem of American pizza styles.

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u/jmorlin Oct 20 '21

Cheese to sauce ratio makes or breaks that one for me.

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u/Large___Marge Oct 20 '21

I grew up in Elmwood Park where the original Armand's was. Thin crust tavern style is the REAL Chicago style pizza in our family.

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u/Colman91 Oct 20 '21

“I’m Italian”

Nah your grandparents probably are, you’re American.

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u/DarknessAndChaos Oct 20 '21

I LOVE Chicago style pizza. I miss it!

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u/NarrativeScorpion Oct 20 '21

Looking at this, I can understand why Americans sometimes call pizzas, pie.

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u/thedictatorofmrun Oct 20 '21

Ironically "pie" seems to me like it's more common slang in new york where pizza is thin crust. Not sure I've ever heard somebody refer to Chicago style as a pie

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u/Frogdog77 Oct 20 '21

The cheese is under the sauce. Why is this idiot yelling?

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u/sarahlizzy Oct 20 '21

He’s Italian and yet he doesn’t know about marinara pizza?

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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 23 '21

[deleted]

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u/Shessftw Oct 21 '21

Dude that is literally a pie, not a pizza

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u/diverareyouok Oct 20 '21

It looks like the sauce is on top of the cheese. That’s a really deep pizza, what does he think is in the space between the top layer of sauce and the crust?

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u/Kraknoix007 Oct 21 '21

The type of guy who thinks having an italian grandfather makes him italian as well

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u/Red_2021 Oct 21 '21

“I’m Italian” - says the American

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u/Jaaxley Oct 20 '21

His accent is really good for an Italian.