r/antiwork Dec 06 '21 Silver 15 Helpful 15 Wholesome 11 All-Seeing Upvote 1

I'm really curious to see why people agree or disagree with this post. Some women are incapable of doing anything due to the severe pain, so I think it's pretty valid.

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u/canidaemon Dec 06 '21 edited Dec 07 '21 Silver Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

I mean, I think anyone who’s physically having some reason they need to rest shouldn’t be forced to work. IBS, periods, migraines, chronic pain, etc.

This applies to school as well.

Edit: thanks for the awards! Surprised how many people don’t agree on a sub that’s literally antiwork.

Also I do also mean mental health should be included - your brain is an organ too.

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u/SweetAssistance6712 Dec 06 '21

Wait, migraines aren't a reason to call in sick over there?

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u/DiarrheaEryday Dec 07 '21 Helpful

I get migraines, and every time I've had to call out because of one, I always get this weird tone from them in return.

"Oh, so you're calling out... because you have... a headache..?"

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u/AbsoluteGhast Dec 07 '21 Gold This

I wish I could give every doubting fucker a migraine.

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u/xactamundo Dec 07 '21 edited Dec 07 '21 Silver Helpful Wholesome Starry

The shock on people's faces when I explain my migraine symptoms...

Have been asked multiple times if I was sure they weren't strokes

edit: if you haven't had a migraine and are curious, my symptoms include - spots in my vision (commonly known as an aura, mine are like shiny blind spots that look like what you get when you look at a bright light) - one of my arms or legs going numb (both at once if im unlucky) - half my mouth going numb (you don't think you can feel your gums until you can't feel your gums) - speaking in jumbled-up sentences and forgetting words - weakness in half my body - light sensitivity - sound sensitivity - nausea, especially when moving - the god awful headache - not feeling back to normal for two or three days after

and mine aren't even that bad compared to some people I know

edit 2: i always find it interesting to (1) hear about other people's migraines since they're almost always different than mine and (2) hear people who don't get migraines panicking about mine!

if you're thinking "sounds like a stroke," strokes come on fast and migraines come on slow :) my migraines usually play out starting with an aura that lasts about a half hour. i take whatever painkillers i have on hand the minute i recognize the aura and then hope for the best. the headache comes about half way through the aura and the rest of the symptoms come and go. it's always an adventure to see which ones i will and won't get (i haven't always had all these symptoms, and ive been getting migraines since the 5th grade, 10 years ago!)

if you're thinking "sounds like a seizure," that's a new one for me! i did a lil googling (which isn't a replacement for a doctor, i know) and seizures don't typically include the numbness and tingling that i get from my migraines. however, apparently a migraine with an aura could trigger a seizure someday, which is a new fear for me.

regardless, ive dealt with these for a decade, and most female members of my direct family, as well as my dad, have also been having them since they were young. my doctor knows i get them, so no worries! i do appreciate the concern :)

to all y'all talking about your migraines, sorry you're stuck with them too! at least we can rant about it for a bit here :)

edit 3: well this quite literally blew up over night 😅 firstly to my fellow migraine sufferers, i see you, i hear you, migraines suck!

to everyone giving medical advice i want to add a few things in that i didn't include in my original post because they didn't feel important.

  1. i only get a migraine once or twice a semester. we're talking three to four months, if not more, in between migraines. i not only don't qualify for most preventative medicines, nor do i see a need for them at this point in my life. im almost 20 and im in college. my boss has seen me work through a migraine before and he knows better than to have me do that again, and i can email my professors and not come to class, so they're not much more than an annoyance at this point in my life
  2. im in the US and while i have comparatively good insurance, i don't want to go get a new doctor unnecessarily. im already dealing with chronic hives (shout-out to covid for that one) and working out medication for my anxiety, so i don't really have time for another doctor at the moment. i do appreciate the concern though
  3. yes, they are migraines. why am i so confident? my mom has them, my dad has them, my mom's mom has them, my dad's mom has them, and migraines can be genetic, especially hemiplegic ones (the ones that make you go half numb)! my mom has been to see a neurologist and they couldn't do jack for her, but they know they're migraines, so im pretty damn sure that's what im dealing with :)

again, i do appreciate the concern, and if they get worse or change in a weird way then i'll see a doctor. right now, though, they don't affect the majority of my life. a few days of feeling extra shitty every few months isn't that big of a deal for me.

im glad this has been informative and cathartic for a lot of people, may your bosses, coworkers, friends, and family never doubt your migraines!

anywho im in the middle of finals week, so it may be a minute until i can get back on here and read/respond to things :)

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u/tbabey Dec 07 '21

I had to tell my boss I could no longer read my computer screen from the aura flashing in my vision. Migraine hadn't even hit yet. Luckily she is also a migraine sufferer and understood. If I had to explain that to a non-sufferer they would think I'm crazy.

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u/dppfang Dec 07 '21

I get literal holes in my vision to the point where I can't see a car in front of me while driving if a migraine hits. Have to pull over to the side of the road and wait it out for however long.

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u/Brock_Lobstweiler Dec 07 '21

Same. Blind spots are my first physical symptom (though sometimes I have ones like inability to find words or severe irritation with noise/smell). The blind spots turn into tunnel vision and then usually disappear for a bit. That 15-30 minutes is my chance to drive home if I'm not there already, take meds and get in bed before the pain hits.

One time at work I missed the aura warning for some reason and the pain hit and I was in tears. My supervisor freaked and was desperately trying to figure out how to get me home safely. Ended up having to call the dude I'd been on 3 dates with to come get me. It was rough.

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u/StudChud Dec 07 '21

I grew up with a very... spiritual mother (nicest way I can put that) who spoke a lot about peoples auras. So when migraine suffers talked about seeing auras I was like "wtf auras are real‽"... few years later I developed extreme migraines with auras and finally understood. Silly anecdote sorry, but I'd never wish a migraine on my worst enemy.

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u/jelliknight Dec 07 '21

Migraines make me DUMB on top of all the other symptoms. I cant think straight.

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u/Erzone90 Dec 07 '21

I actually got scared once when my mother got one so bad she could barely speak. I was seriously thinking she may had been having a stroke.

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u/glasswiper69 Dec 07 '21

My mom has had migraines for fucking ever as it seems and they always knock her off her feet and yet she refuses to not go to work. It's fucking heartbreaking seeing someone in so much pain hurting themselves even more because their job might be in jeopardy because of a "headache". I hate modern day slavery with "benefits". Sorry I mean capitalism, english is not my first language so I get that mixed up

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u/ChrisBabaganoosh Dec 07 '21

I don't get migraines luckily, but my mom did. I saw CAT scans of the fucking scars on her brain that her migraines caused. It's not just a headache.

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u/omgitsmoki Dec 06 '21

Uh, no? Migraines are just spicy headaches. Pop some pills and get back to work. (/s)

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u/Kaleidoscope_Happy18 Dec 07 '21

This is my managers mentality. "You can take medicine for migraines, it's fine." It's absurd. I have a coworker who had a shingles flare up recently and our manager told them that they needed to manage their health better. Wtf.

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u/bunnyrut Dec 07 '21

I have a coworker who had a shingles flare up recently and our manager told them that they needed to manage their health better. Wtf.

oh man, what a moron. i can only hope that he is someone who had chicken pox as a child and will have to deal with shingles just so he can feel what that coworker was going through. i never want to get shingles, i keep double checking about when i can get the vaccine to hopefully avoid it completely.

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u/Nosfermarki Dec 07 '21

I asked if I could get the vaccine when I was 30 and was told I couldn't because I was too young and it's rare in younger people. 2 weeks later I got shingles. Pretty solid example of the kind of luck I have.

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u/everythingisgoo Dec 07 '21

Yeah my manager said in the morning meeting the other day “we’ve been having lots of call outs and we’re getting into busy season so I need everyone to stop calling out, if you’re sick take your vitamins so you can get back to work ASAP” uuuuhhh wtf there’s a fucking pandemic

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '21 edited 1d ago

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u/bunnyrut Dec 07 '21

as a migraine sufferer this right here. people don't fully understand how bad it is until they see me trying to function with a migraine.

i can't focus on anything, mentally or visually. my speech is slurred and i am speaking slow. and if it gets bad enough i am throwing up. one manager saw me and asked me to go home, and he said "i swear to god if you say you can taste purple i am calling 911."

but "it's just a headache" to way too many people. so what? even if it is "just" a headache that is valid enough for someone to need rest.

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u/WanderingGreybush Anarcho-Communist Dec 06 '21 Silver Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy Starry

Your medical issues are not of my concern. If you are unwell for any reason, stay home. Get better. The reason is none of my business. (Though I'll fight for your right to do so)

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u/Accomplished-Plan191 Dec 06 '21 Helpful

If you're incapacitated, then you're incapacitated. Can be for any number of reasons out of your control.

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u/ChristineWhy Dec 07 '21 edited Dec 07 '21 Helpful This

Like honestly if someone had diarrhea so bad they literally couldn’t leave the toilet, how are they supposed to actually get to work? How come period pains, which for the record, I have had so bad I actually threw up (and I’ve birthed 3 children with no medicinal help, so like, it hurt that bad), are just like “take an ibuprofen and get to work”…??? If I can’t move, I can’t move. Don’t matter if it’s because my anus is exploding or my uterus is clamped so tight I literally can’t stand up straight. Health, physical or mental, is always top priority.

Edited to add: there are also lovely things like PMDD and PME, which essentially mean your brain is reacting angrily to the normal change in hormones (PMDD), causing much more severe, uncontrollable side effects (no we aren’t just being assholes because it’s fun, or even just because we’re in pain.. it’s a literal chemical/hormonal response sending us into adrenal fight mode)… or PME is exacerbating other pre-existing conditions such as depression, ADHD, eating disorders, etc. So maybe my cramps aren’t that bad, but my idiot brain has decided it doesn’t want to function normally with reproductive hormones, so I am inconsolably sobbing and snapping at people. I don’t think you want me at work then either.

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u/SidonisParker Dec 07 '21

Wait, you're telling me the extreme anger is its own separate thing from normal PMS symptoms? I did not know that. No wonder sometimes I'm ready to fight my own shadow for not moving with me right.

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u/ChristineWhy Dec 07 '21

Yes. PMS does come with mood swings but intense mood swings that really ruin your day and you can’t seem to snap out of them.. may be a sign of PMDD. Being a little grumpy or weepy is normal. Wanting to burn your house down and move to a remote cabin in the Swiss Alps is not.

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u/th3n3w3ston3 Dec 07 '21

But I want to burn my house down and move to the Swiss Alps all the time...

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u/lemons84 Dec 07 '21

What about when we actually get diarrhea because of our periods? Flu like symptoms. It’s crazy. Some months are manageable and others are hell.

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u/ChristineWhy Dec 07 '21

Omg period poops are the WORST. If only men knew.

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u/shamelessNnameless Anarcha-Feminist Dec 07 '21

Ragfarts, too. Oooooooweeeeee are they some heinous shit.

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u/foolOfABae Dec 07 '21

Someone referred to period poops as peanut butter jelly time in another reddit thread, and since I can never forget that now neither can you

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u/PrincessPurpleKisses Dec 07 '21

I have PMDD and without being medicated it's literally like the rational me takes a backseat for a week. Like I KNOW I'm being irrational but I can't make myself stop. It's really hard to function in a work environment like that.

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u/ChristineWhy Dec 07 '21

It does suck. I also have ADHD and trauma related OCD, and both of those are very “I know this is not me but I can’t make it stop” kind of conditions. It sucks being a captive in your own flesh sack.

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u/boopsfoshoops Dec 07 '21 Silver

Malicious compliance. Go to work in your baggy sweat pants, with your midol bottle on desk, heating pad, hot water bottle and spend the whole time just nursing yourself/crawling from desk to bathroom. Like, "I'm fucking here you dickhead. Happy?"

OR "I've already taken the prescribed opioid pain killers from the doctor for my condition and thus am unfit to drive. Would you like to come pick me up to bring me to work?"

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u/ChristineWhy Dec 07 '21

“I’ma need you to drive me to and from work, while I hug this trash can. When I get to work I’ll sit in the bathroom with the door open so I can hear customers if they need me, while I’m making my period poop. Deal?”

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u/BeerAnBooksAnCats Dec 07 '21 edited Dec 07 '21

Some of us are begging to yeet our utes because “period pains” = significantly diminished quality of life. r/hysterectomy

Anyone who’s experienced testicle torsion want to chime in on their experience? Like, would you be able to endure that once every 21ish days?

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u/Snooopp_dogg Dec 07 '21

I sat on the toilet shaking and crying while passing clots the size of small lemons. I almost passed out and threw up all over myself. There is no way I could work like that.

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u/beccahas Dec 07 '21

I puke too

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u/ChristineWhy Dec 07 '21

I’m sorry. I don’t know if it’s been like this for women for all of human history, but it sucks. I hope you find relief.

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u/LockeClone Dec 07 '21

And if people did have adequate PTO nobody would worry if people were lying about it either because so what?

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u/talrogsmash Dec 07 '21 Helpful

This coupled with the medical establishment ignoring women's issues for hundreds of years because "they're women, who cares".

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u/lazyretired Dec 07 '21

One of my friends has extreme period cramps and sometimes can't walk. It varies month by month. Sometimes she gets extremely nauseous and can't even get out of bed. Having your period is not fun, especially if you're standing for 8 hrs straight at work.

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u/hiddensource12 Dec 07 '21

This!! bleeding through your clothes. Or passing out or vomiting from losing so much blood. Anyway- get back to work!

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u/missyheartsong Dec 07 '21

I quit my last job due to not giving me adequate time to use the restroom.

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u/DASHRIPROCK1998 Dec 07 '21

Who tf is allowed to say you cant use the bathroom as long as necessary

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u/missyheartsong Dec 07 '21

It has to do with time in between client appointments and booking overlapping appointments. Lots of stuff that's not desk work jobs has issues like that. I was pretty shocked it would be an issue and it was, the guy was a super douche who couldn't process plain explanations well though and I told him I have to deal with my period. Complete idiot.

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u/Nosfermarki Dec 07 '21

Women don't get taken seriously unless we're over the top and dramatic about it, then we're labeled over the top and dramatic.

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u/Lillypad89 Dec 07 '21

And if we have an unknown health problem that isn't a simple sinus infection or something super obvious, it's "anxiety" and/ or depression.

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u/cheezypita Dec 07 '21

Even if it’s a known health problem! I have endometriosis. I had surgery, a diagnosis etc.. when the pain came back my doctor asked if I noticed the “pain” get worse when my depression got worse.

Turns out I needed another surgery. Who knew being in daily pain could put a damper on your mood?

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u/satalfyr Dec 07 '21 edited Dec 07 '21

My partner has endo. Very severe. Numerous operations; all sorts of medications. Years ago, I had to call an ambulance because she was passing out from pain. It was something I had done many times before and will end up doing many times after… The EMT was asking her how much pain she was in on a scale of 1-10, and she told him “ten”. He replied, “no, ten means like… bears are tearing your arms off”. I was fuming, but chewing this guy out wasn’t an option and would not have helped out my partner, so I was glad when she looked at him and pointedly repeated herself - “…Ten.”

It’s really difficult for her to advocate for herself in these situations. An ER doctor has straight up called her a drug seeker to her face before. Can you believe that shit? Had he given her the benefit of the doubt, he would have found an infection in a burst ovarian cyst that was detected the at the 2nd ER she went to. Poor girl. She’s approaching the last few options of treatment. No doctor is willing to give her a hysterectomy because she’s “too young”. She’s in her 30’s… She does not want kids, and more importantly, she doesn’t want pain.

Anyway, Godspeed with your endo. I hope you find relief.

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u/saphfyrefen Dec 07 '21

My former MD tried to pull this shit on me, when I came in with heart palpitations because of long covid. Tried to blame it on me being anxious about finding out that my MD hadn't told me for a full year I had dangerously high cholesterol....

Double gaslighting!

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u/Not-A-SoggyBagel Dec 07 '21

I'm so sorry! High cholesterol is usually flagged, that should've been caught way sooner!

To piggyback off of Doctors not listening to women... When I had a horrible kidney infection my doctor told me to go home, that I was just anxious or had cramps.

I collapsed because of shock due to sepsis during work. I was stuck in the ICU for weeks, a lot of it I didn't even remember because I was in a medical coma.

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u/saphfyrefen Dec 07 '21

I am so sorry you almost fucking died and landed in a medical coma because a doctor didn't listen to you.

That's fucking horrifying. I hope you're okay now.

When I asked my doctor why the fuck she didn't tell me for a year, she had the goddamn audacity to respond with "I was waiting for you to bring it up". I'm pretty sure long covid fucked me so badly because I had no idea I had high cholesterol.

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u/kayisforcookie Dec 07 '21

Yup. Took me a decade to get diagnosed with Lupus. And that's with the test coming back positive. They didnt even want to test me because me saying i was in constant pain every single day was me overexaggerating or pill seeking, even though I specifically said i didnt want meds until i had a proper diagnosis and that I wanted multiple confirmation tests before starting any controlled substances.

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u/AdGlittering9727 Dec 07 '21

Pretty much. I’m convinced that if men suffered with painful periods a lot more research into effective treatment of symptoms would be in place.

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u/kanjiry Dec 06 '21

This. All day every day.

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u/WanderingGreybush Anarcho-Communist Dec 06 '21

It's a fucking human being. In pain. How can I turn a blind eye?

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u/amaraame Dec 07 '21

You'd think that but lots of doctors write off period pain, or even any other pain, as dramatic or hysterical.

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u/Wizalot Dec 07 '21

Which is funny, since hysteric means womb.

Also, kinda sexist...

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u/Hungry-Resolve20 Dec 07 '21

It's akchualy the reason for the word. "Hysteria" was basically a sexist way to say that women were being hormonal to the point of crazyness. All because of the uterus.

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u/livia-did-it Dec 07 '21

Women with mental health and/or period issues used to be diagnosed with "hysteria" or "wandering-womb". Its an intensely gendered and sexist word used to write off women's suffering.

I mean, when was the last time you heard "hysterical" used to describe a man?

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u/UnRetiredCassandra Dec 07 '21

I'm still trying to get "testerical" to catch on. Join me!

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u/DeificClusterfuck SocDem Dec 07 '21

Maybe "testy"? Lol

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u/kilkenny99 Dec 07 '21

That's so funny, it's hysterical.

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u/meatballsinsugo Dec 07 '21

Our health "innovators" have been skimping on women's health since, well, always.

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u/WanderingGreybush Anarcho-Communist Dec 07 '21

As a thirty year sufferer of chronic pain, I feel this comment. Literally.

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u/Torontopup6 Dec 07 '21

Research shows that doctors don't take women's pain as seriously as men's pain. People of colour also don't get their pain taken as seriously as white people's pain.

PSA for all the ladies reading this: if you are in extreme pain when you get your period, you could have endometriosis - a legit medical condition that is treatable.

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u/PanduhMoanYum Dec 07 '21

Not a good doctor. At least in my experience, when I described my symptoms of my periods from the time I was a teenager to adult, they didn't dismiss me. As an adult, my PCP diagnosed me right away with dysmenorrhea, and got me into a OB/GYN. I had PCOS and Endometriosis. The Endometriosis is why I was doubled over.

It isn't just always about the pain either. Some women can't go 30 minutes without bleeding through. Some of us vomit or have diarrhea. Maybe we have cyclic migraines. And we deal with this every month.

Sometimes, birth control helps regulate the cycle and hormones, easing some of the symptoms. I never tolerated the synthetic hormones. Others have clotting disorders and can't even take birth control.

My wife had to go on FMLA because of her cycle.

If you have a doctor who just dismisses you, get a better doctor.

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u/amaraame Dec 07 '21

I've had more dismissive doctors then i can count. Of all the ones i saw in the military, 1 was helpful for my pain at the time. But he only helped because i threw my back out and had pretty much no movement range left. Getting a better doctor wasn't an option then.

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u/Father_Wolfgang Dec 07 '21

Yep. Part of a healthy employee/boss relationship is to be able to say you can’t work because you feel sick. It’s up to the employee to decide when the pain is too much to handle. The boss should not ask the reason why.

Period pains not being valid reasons remind me of high school and PE.

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u/PaganMa SocDem Dec 06 '21

Completely agree on this. No matter the gender, if you are in pain, you should be investigating what is causing that pain and treating it, not coming to work to drain your life away.

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u/ososalsosal Dec 07 '21

Unfortunately a lot of doctors don't give a shit about period pain even though in some cases (still a significant proportion!) it can feel worse than actually giving birth.

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u/MaidMariann Dec 07 '21

When I had to deal with it, the only treatment I was offered was Midol or Tylenol. Maybe exercise more. No exam was given or offered. If I asked about something stronger, I was informed that I didn't need it. The message was, basically, "Grow the fuck up!"

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u/KarmaaaBoom Dec 07 '21

I used to have a few patients that I gladly gave a script for a few norco pills every month just to deal with the couple days when their pain was the worst. When I get back from my nursing sabbatical I'll gladly do it again. That shit is painful.

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u/vmBob Dec 07 '21

I have back issues, sciatic pain so bad I can't sit up straight without crying. Ibuprofen is the best I can get because some other people abuse drugs. Pain is no longer a problem doctors will treat.

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u/Ok_Dog_4059 Dec 07 '21

I know the drugs we have for pain now are problematic but until a company comes up with something better it is all we have and forcing people to suffer because the medication has been mishandled is not a good solution. If only over 100 years ago when addiction was a known problem we had worked to discover different meds instead of trying to put a leash on frankenstiens monster we could have possibly ce up with safer ways to treat pain instead of having a misuse crisis and millions of people who can't get proper care.

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u/Hungry-Resolve20 Dec 07 '21

Worst thing is that sometimes the excruciating pain that is brushed off can be linked to fibrosis and needs treatment; "grow[ing] the fuck up" will not fix that. I live abroad and luckily our medical attention is pretty good - the things I see people in the US posting about healthcare (and work, while we're at it) are appalling. Edited typo

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u/invisoDustin123 Dec 06 '21

For real, I don't care if they "can't" work, I'm just trying not to make other people suffer here

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u/BorderNo9640 Dec 06 '21

You had me in the first half, not gonna lie

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u/WanderingGreybush Anarcho-Communist Dec 06 '21

All bodily functions are icky. I don't want to hear about them. I also don't want you sick.

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u/coxykitten923 Dec 06 '21

Absolutely a valid reason. Sometimes it feels like you’re dying. No energy and those days when advil does nothing.

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u/joantheunicorn Dec 07 '21

PMDD gang! ...yay...

Makes you not only feel utterly exhausted (I almost fell asleep at the dinner table once) but some people have the extra impact of your brain steering right into suicidal ideation for days. Let me tell you how fun that is when it comes on at work. I've had severe cramping since I was a teen. It isn't every month, but twice in my life has put me in the hospital.

I sometimes call in sick if it is really, really bad.

If you need a good laugh, I always love the period joke by Cameron Esposito. Nsfw, or children. Starts at like the 3:30 mark.

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u/jarildor Dec 07 '21

PMDD is AWFUL. Not only the general brain fog and crushing sadness, but also pain that’s made me both vomit and faint on separate occasions. When I broke my foot I had no idea because the pain didn’t seem bad enough that I thought it was more than, “let it heal up for a week or so.”

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u/PM_ME_JJBA_STICKERS Dec 07 '21

Holy shit, I thought I was crazy for vomiting from period pain. Weird part is it only happens 1/4 times, so when I went to the doctors because of the pain, they were like “hmmm but you don’t experience it every time?? Just take an advil.”

But it’s like playing Russian roulette every month. Am I going to have 8 out of 10 pain, or am I going to pull over the side of the highway and vomit/pass out…. Hmmmm

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u/day_1_10yrs_7_days Dec 06 '21 Silver

And you can't concentrate to work. ETA: Men should realize that period cramps are like really bad diarrhea cramps, but for 4-7 days EVERY MONTH.

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u/AZSKP Dec 07 '21

I remember reading a first-person article about bone marrow donation in which the author, a male donor, was told by one of the medical personnel that the sensation of having your hip drilled into to extract marrow was often described by female donors as resembling severe menstrual cramps. The author acknowledged having much greater recognition of menstrual pain after the donation procedure.

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u/SpikedGoatMaiden Dec 07 '21

This comment actually makes me LESS scared to donate bone marrow.

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u/zedthehead Dec 07 '21

Lmfao I had literally this same thought!!

Recently I read somewhere that while men get heart attacks more often, women are more likely to die from heart attacks because it's not as painful as cramps, so when women feel the chest pains they're like, "This isn't so bad, it's probably just an odd pain..." and put off seeking medical intervention.

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u/buttonwhatever Dec 07 '21

Which is exactly how I ended up with a $3500 ER bill and four male doctors telling me, “yeah, women often think they’re having a heart attack when it’s just anxiety.”

So which voice do I listen to? The one that knows women downplay the possible signs of heart attack? Or the one that thinks women overreact to possible signs of heart attack? It’s 10pm, I have chest pain. I shouldn’t have to sit there weighing my options of whether I should go get mansplained at the ER unnecessarily for $3500 or otherwise possibly die. I fucking hate this country.

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u/AnonBubblyBowels Dec 07 '21

Something similar happened to me, though if was fully me downplaying symptoms.

I have UC and developed toxic megacolon. For months, I couldn’t eat, so I was on TPN/IV nutrition, which continued at home once I was discharged from the hospital.

And one night, I just felt off. Like a heart attack or something. I was super paranoid and anxious, I was in pain, my heart/chest felt like it was going to explode.

But I just kept telling my boyfriend “I’m just really anxious for some reason, it’s just anxiety”

Finally he said “enough, I’m taking you to the ER”.

Even when we got there, I continued to downplay it to the nurses and doctor, repeating the same things, “I’m just having a really bad panic attack. It’s just anxiety.”

They gave me some Ativan and told me to do some breathing exercises.

My boyfriend finally piped up and said “She has a family history of genetic heart issues” and I still felt compelled to add “but I’m pretty positive it’s just anxiety and some psychosomatic pain from that”

Then they started running some routine tests.

Turns out I was septic AF from and infection in my TPN line.

Within an hour I started passing out over and over again. I was airlifted to a hospital in the city and I don’t remember the first few days. My mom says she was fucking terrified because I’d wake up and talk a little bit, then my eyes would just roll to the back of my head and I’d pass out while laying down in bed. Over and over and over again for days.

But I was fully ready to write it all off as anxiety.

Thank god my boyfriend didn’t want to chance it being something serious. We were just about to go to bed that night, so he likely wouldn’t have known I was passing out like that until 8+ hours later.

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u/Datfandomdoe Dec 07 '21

This. A less-than-kind part of me wishes we could find a way to induce the lining of a man's testis to slough off and discharge through their dick simply so they could know how it feels (and yes I know the testis isn't precisely analogous to the uterus physiologically, but it's the shock-value I'm after here)

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u/badFishTu Dec 07 '21

And especially if you already have IBS you will be having nonstop diarrhea all that time and the week before and after.

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u/MabariWarHound12 Dec 07 '21

I get both. Cramps and massive diarhhea each month

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u/ScullysBagel Dec 07 '21

I was gonna say, and sometimes there's both. Period shits are no joke. Glad to be done with it.

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u/UnreliableTL Dec 07 '21

Not just bad diarrhea. Stomach virus diarrhea. The kind that threatens to make you pass out from how hard it's cramping up.

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u/beforeitcloy Dec 07 '21

Hell, let's align periods across the country, then give everyone the week off each month. We can sit under a tree and read a good book.

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u/Academic_Flounder_33 Dec 06 '21

I agree. I used to get such bad cramps I'd throw up or pass out. They are no joke.

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u/perfectbarrel Dec 06 '21

For me, the pain is the worst thing. Pms aside, any severe pain like that makes concentration hard and makes me VERY quick to agitation. I think it’s like that for anyone like if they have severe back pain or something like that.

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u/Working-Mistake-6700 Dec 06 '21 Take My Energy Press F

I have endometriosis as do 1 out of every 10 women in the world. My periods can be as painful as a blood clot in your lung. I would know I've had one. I've had 3 surgeries because of my pain at the grand old age of 26. I'm still in fairly horrific pain every month. I have prescriptions for oxycodone that I am allowed to fill and have to take several times a year. I think however that the problem isn't periods in particular it's the USAs habit of not caring about any chronic illness. If you crush your toe or break your arm everyone is sad for you and they do extra things for you. If you have to call out two days a month or have random days when you wake up on so much pain you can't move, no one is sympathetic. If you can't work because of pain then there's something you should be doing about it. Something you haven't tried yet. That's the thought process I wish would change.

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u/drivwticks Dec 07 '21

For years I tried to explain to people how bad my period pain was. Everyone thought I was overly dramatic. I learned to cope. When I was in labor with my first my mom didn’t believe I was in labor because I said, “it hurts like my period but at least I get breaks.” I was dilated to a 6 lol. My mom went ghost white. “Your periods have always been this bad?” Yup. It took years after I had my babies to find a willing doctor, but a hysterectomy saved my life.

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u/mn8765 Dec 07 '21

as I said above, this isn’t just a problem in the US. In my country endometriosis and other chronic conditions are not reason enough to call out sick — the best part? Over here in Australia it’s practically impossible to get suitable pain killers for endo. Take some ibuprofen and be on your way, basically.

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u/Working-Mistake-6700 Dec 07 '21

Good grief. I usually stick with ibuprofen and Tylenol but I can get my doctor to call me in tramadol and oxycodone if I really need it. I did have to go through 5 gynocologists to find one who believed me about the pain though.

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u/LessEvilBender at work Dec 06 '21 Faith In Humanity Restored

Period pain is a medical issue. Approved.

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u/sirwillups Dec 07 '21

As someone who's had diarrhea enough in one day to feel the pain of my inside muscles, I don't even wanna imagine what it's like when your insides are shedding layers and cramping at the same time. Approved every time.

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u/betwixish Dec 07 '21 edited Dec 07 '21

Diarrhea is a pretty common occurrence with periods. It’s a racket.

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u/bananicula Dec 07 '21

Period shits are another level of unholy

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '21

It's tons of fun, let me tell you. I've got IBS-D and my period now comes 14 days out of the month. Two 7 day cycles, two weeks apart.

Kill.me.

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u/Badger-of-Horrors Dec 06 '21

Women have gotten these pains so badly that they do not realize they are having a burst appendix. Let them stay home

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u/NorthernWolf3 Dec 07 '21

Absolutely. I'll never forget the story I read about a girl in history class who was uncomfortable and asked to see the nurse about it. The male teacher asked if it could wait until the end of his lecture, and she shrugged and said sure, no problem. Ten minutes later, they had to call an ambulance for her. Her appendix burst. The teacher was very upset and asked the girl why she didn't tell him how much pain she was in. She responded, "I get period pains worse than that, so I didn't think it was serious." The teacher had a new respect for women after that.

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u/xxclownkill3rxx Dec 07 '21

Had a girl at my high-school that had a home nurse come one week out of the month to give her a painkiller i.v. drip for those 3-7+days. Definitely have respect for the pain they go through

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u/Bridget_Bishop Dec 06 '21 edited Dec 06 '21

I absolutely agree because I'm one of those people who can be utterly incapacitated by period pains. It doesn't happen as often now that I'm on BC but it still happens sometimes

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u/asaleika Dec 06 '21

This is the thing. People brush it off as "some cramping" and we should be used to it. But my period pain triggers my sciatica, and my entire lower body goes numb or on fire for a good 2 weeks around my period. My job is 100% being on my feet with no chance of rest. While my back is being stabbed by lightning that's also on fire.

Like, people get sickleave and told by doctors to stay home for this kind of pain, but since it's period triggered? Nah, it can't be as bad.

And treat it? Nah. Just take a tylenol and get a heating pad, you're fine.

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u/webalbatross Dec 07 '21 Helpful

I'm really sorry to hear that. You should know your pain is not normal. Endometriosis can sometimes grow into the sciatic nerve and cause extreme pain. Please get yourself checked by a certified endo specialist; it doesn't have to be that way. Join us on r/endometriosis and check out this link, maybe something rings a bell. https://nancysnookendo.com/sciatic-pain-and-endometriosis/

Source: Had terrible period pain for years, got surgery, am cured. PM me if you want to talk.

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u/asaleika Dec 07 '21

I've figured out myself over the years that it's probably endo screwing with my sciatic nerve, yeah. But I've been checked by a bunch of gynos and have literally no other traces of endo anywhere, and they're blaming weight/pcos/lordosis so they're not convinced it's related yet. I'm ordered rest and lordosis workouts and weihtloss and until I do those they're not doing much. But I just don't have the energy to do it. Our system here is different, and I'd need a referal and lots of searching and traveling to find someone else to look at it, and I don't have the energy for that either. So, catch 22 at the moment.

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u/cincheeks Dec 07 '21

omg sciatica is a fucking hoe. i got it from these stupid restaurant jobs and def hits extra hard on the period.

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u/pantsuitmafia Dec 07 '21

I'm glad I'm not alone with period pain triggering painful/numbing nerve issues. Im so sorry you go through that. Paid sick leave should be universal for everyone.

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u/HippieShroomer Dec 06 '21 edited Dec 06 '21

I remember bursting into tears in assembly at school once because I had such bad period pain that I was in agony and felt like I was going to faint but the school was so strict that I didn't dare ask to sit down or go to the nurse. I just stood there trying to tolerate it until it became overwhelming.

Another time I was walking home when period pain struck. It got worse and worse and I kept walking for as long as I could but by the time I was literally at the end of my street, about 10 houses from home, the pain was so bad that I couldn't even stand any more. I sat down right there, unable to move, looking down the street towards my house, desperate for painkillers and knowing there were some at home but being completely unable to walk down and get them. I sat there in the street until the pain subsided enough for me to move.

another time I was in a city hundreds of miles from home, in a bed and breakfast, due to get the train home that morning when period pain struck. Unable to move again, even to go and buy painkillers, I had to miss my train because I just couldn't move from the pain to get to the station in time.

I could write a whole book with loads more stories about all the times period pains have incapacitated me. No-one should have to work through that.

Although the pains aren't as bad now (I'm 37) as when I was younger, now they give me a different problem. They now make me so tired that I can't even stay awake throughout the day.

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u/hey_yall01 Dec 06 '21

I had a teacher send me home in the middle of a test in high school I looked so sick from my period. The school had a policy that you would receive a 0 on a test if you left school right before it. Bless her for seeing through that bullshit.

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u/Working-Mistake-6700 Dec 06 '21

I used to go home two days out of every month in highschool.i would throw up over and over again because of my period so there was no reason for me to be there. I have endometriosis

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u/Yura_Yanagi Dec 06 '21

Exactly this. I have endometriosis

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u/dirtyburger123 Dec 06 '21 Wholesome

We need to kill this expectation that we need to tell bosses WHAT we are sick with when calling out sick. Listen chad, I am sick, whether its menstrual cramps or hershey squirts is none of your business.

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u/Ok_Armadillo4599 Dec 07 '21

If i'm sick, i only need to call or write that i'm sick and how long i will be missing from work. The bosses (in germany) can ask what we have but if we don’t want to say it, we don’t need to say it. This should become the norm in the us.

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u/Live_Perspective3603 Dec 06 '21

I'm very lucky and never had anything too painful, but I heard about a high school girl who had appendicitis and didn't know because it felt like her usual cramps. She nearly died. That really made clear to me what many women put up with on a regular basis. Yes, totally valid reason to stay home.

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u/mecha_flake Dec 06 '21

Different women have different degrees of pain. Kudos to those that can work through but we gotta have compassion for those who cannot.

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u/CrispyFowl Dec 06 '21

I have and will take time off if I’m sick from my period. Even on birth control I get ill such as fever, nausea, etc. no way I’m crawling to work. I don’t get paid enough as it is let alone to show up miserable.

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u/shehermetoo Dec 06 '21

Pain isn't the only issue. Try turning 40 and randomly gushing a cup of blood when you stand up.

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u/LindzwithaphOG Dec 07 '21

This isn't tied to just age. I had this probably for a couple of years after the birth of my child. Sometimes literally spent 10 minutes of every hour in the bathroom cleaning up blood.

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u/queefer_sutherland92 Dec 07 '21

Legit. More than once I had to do it at work.

Once it happened while my ex was breaking up with me in a cafe. I had to go buy new underwear and go back to his house to change.

Numerous, uncountable times my wonderful mother has come and rescued me from the streets with a jacket around my waist in a pair of blood stained pants.

I’ve since been treated for endometriosis and no longer recreate the elevator scene from The Shining once a month.

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u/stolenplates6 Dec 07 '21

Are you me? I spent my 40th birthday getting an ultrasound to search for the cause of my uncontrollable bleeding. That was the day my goals changed from getting pregnant to like, living. Preferably without pain and bleeding, but eh, no promises.

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u/19CatsInATrenchCoat Dec 07 '21

My period got lighter in my 30s, everything before that was pretty unpleasant, now I'm afraid of my 40s.

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u/yokayla Dec 06 '21 edited Dec 06 '21

My nurse today actually had to go home from work cuz she has endo and her period was kicking her ass.

She's usually obnoxiously positive and cheerful, but today she was near tears and could barely talk. She was almost doubled over. She was resisting leaving early but physically could not finish out her shift despite wanting to.

For some women, it really is debilitating.

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u/ForSocialResearch Dec 06 '21

Yeah , if my penis hurt once a month I'd want to stay home .

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u/Extension_Ferret2830 Dec 06 '21

Not just hurt, but bleeding. Continuously shedding the layers inside. For 5 days straight.

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u/MinaMaple idle Dec 07 '21

5 days. or.MORE.

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u/Raccoon_Full_of_Cum Dec 06 '21 Helpful

Man, vaginas sound like a bunch of dicks.

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u/ExistingEffort7 Dec 06 '21

I am going to quote you for the rest of me life

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u/MildlyPissedOff Dec 06 '21

Well, my friend, raccoon full of cum, once said...

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u/ExistingEffort7 Dec 07 '21

I never said I would credit him...

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u/Snackbarian Dec 07 '21

Yeah if my dick bleeds i ain't doing shit until it stops bleeding

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u/DrunkOnLoveAndWhisky Dec 07 '21

What do I do? Do I wear a diaper? A condom?! Do we have to invent the male tampon, and is it condom-based? WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN IN THREE WEEKS?!?

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u/SolanGoose Dec 07 '21

Or longer!

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u/lookingup9 Dec 06 '21

And not just that but my whole body feels like garbage for at least several days around PMS/first day of period. Headache and fatigue.

The only good thing about it is I don't have to worry I'm actually getting sick. I know it's just my damn period. Ugh.

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u/attempt5001 Dec 07 '21

Garbage has to be the best way to describe how I feel during my period.

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u/sileotumen Dec 06 '21

Once a month *for several days, also you're bleeding

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u/GinnyMcJuicy Dec 06 '21

Don't forget the period shit. You know ... that one MIGHTY unstoppable shit that goes on forever and completely empties your bowels to the point that you are shitting out tomorrows lunch.

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u/Miridinia Dec 06 '21

Tbf, I love those. Never feel more cleansed.

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u/GinnyMcJuicy Dec 06 '21

Oh I totally do, too. But it still really fucks with work.

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u/SnipesCC Dec 07 '21

Thank Goddess for bidets.

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u/GinnyMcJuicy Dec 07 '21

I don't have one but once a month I really think I should.

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u/WowItsAShark Dec 06 '21

I know some people that their period lasts a week or more

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u/PearleString Dec 06 '21

Adenomyosis is the diagnosis for long periods. My record is 6 weeks straight of bleeding and cramping. Didn't get a day off ever for it.

Of course, I'm Canadian so I said "fuck this" and had my uterus removed (for free). 4 weeks off (paid) and no more periods ever!

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u/memeboiandy Dec 06 '21

Holy fuck... 👀 did you have it removed BECAUSE of the 6 week period, or was it later on after the fact just cause periods suck? Kinda curious

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u/PearleString Dec 06 '21

Just didn't want it anymore and thankfully the doctor was like "yup don't blame you, let's do this". I wasn't even diagnosed with my issues until they took it out and looked at it. Otherwise like most women I was just told "that's normal" spoiler: it was not.

I'm in my 30s and no kids and never wanted any, so I just went for it.

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u/kristachio Dec 06 '21

I’m so jealous. I’m in my 30’s, don’t want kids, and uterine cancer runs in my family (my mom and two of her sisters), and I still can’t find a doctor who will remove mine.

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u/annababan69 Dec 06 '21

What the hell? If you had a family history of breast cancer, they'd walk those suckers off without a second thought!

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '21

It’s not just the vagina. Multiple organs get in on the action. If you’re lucky like me, your colon starts to act up and it makes you feel like you got a surprise enema :)

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u/RocketGirl83 Dec 07 '21

Ah yes, the period shits.

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u/goldandjade Dec 07 '21

It's less that our genitals hurt and more that our entire abdomens are in excruciating pain because the uterus swells up and impacts all of our digestive organs, that's why the period shits are a thing.

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u/BadCaseOfClams Dec 06 '21

Testicular cramping…. Yuuuup I’d call out

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u/Knobknuckle Dec 06 '21

I used to get pain killers telling a random doctor my balls feel like they are cramping

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u/StrayLilCat Dec 06 '21

No hate towards you but I HATE THIS. I had to tell my doc that shingles pain was preferred over the pain of my endo before he gave me mild pain killers.

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u/millennialmonster755 Dec 07 '21

Imagine your penis hurting so bad it makes you feel like you have the flu once a month. And I mean full on nausea, diarrhea, and migraines with added cramping in your lower body. Not the sniffles. I generally have some muscle soreness and fatigue as well and have had really bad cramping to the point that it went to my legs and I felt like I could stand up. Still told to shake it off and keep going though. Literally more then a valid reason to take a day off. You can't get shit done efficiently when it happens.

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u/XxXMissShiroXxX Dec 06 '21

Honestly it's pretty horrific. I've overheard my boss bragging about how she never calls out no matter how bad her period pain is. Like okay Becky, then suffer. Your choice, not ours. Oh and of course classic barbed remarks about the topic too when someone does stay home for it. Ugh.

It isn't worth the discomfort. I've called out for it before but I usually just lie and say I have a migraine or something because they're less likely to give me crap for it.

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u/Sephonez Dec 07 '21

I hate this. I had a manager like this and she got really bad periods. It would be to the point in between serving customers she would go into a fetal position in the corner holding her stomach yet still bragging that she wouldn't go home. It's a terrible look to the customers and nobody was impressed so why do it.

After 10 years in hospitality if I need a day off I take it. Luckily hospitality and especially experienced baristas are in high demand where I live at the moment so if they said no I'd just quit and have a job by the next morning.

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u/Afraid-Spread9968 Dec 06 '21

My wife has Endometriosis, so her period pains were physically crippling. And yet people expected her to "just work through it".

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u/MDC56355635 Dec 06 '21 This

Endometriosis and pcos are disabilities. If you cant come to work because the pain is that bad and caused by either of those diseases, yeah thats totally valid. Or if u just have really bad period pain in general. That shit aint no joke

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u/Acceptable-Bike-7983 Dec 06 '21

Some studies show that endometriosis feels like being shot. So, uh, absolutely a reason to callout

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u/Working-Mistake-6700 Dec 06 '21

I've had a blood clot in my lungs. My endometriosis pain gets as bad as that sometimes

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u/UnknownUsername0626 Dec 06 '21

My endometriosis does feel like this intermittently throughout the day. Even if I feel "okay" on my prescription meds and BC at one moment, an hour later I could sob or even black out. It's tough for me to decide what days to go and which to stay home.

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u/MDC56355635 Dec 07 '21

There are multiple times where women have refused treatment for appendicitis because they thought it was a period cramp

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u/soupyhdnos Dec 06 '21

I literally went to the hospital because of my endometriosis cramps before I knew I had it. And a lot of people aren't realizing how expensive / hard to get the medicine is for endometriosis.

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u/teacupkiller Dec 07 '21

And you can only take it for 24 months. I got to that point and now am trying to figure out wtf to do.

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u/BadCaseOfClams Dec 06 '21

It can be infuriating to see how management reacts to this sort of thing. A girl I work with has pcos and extremely irregular/painful periods. She called out for it and three fat old men in button ups and slacks all immediately dismissed her and mocked the idea that she was unable to work. I really regret not taking the opportunity to explain this to them.

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u/ColdBorchst Dec 07 '21

They would not have listened anyway

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u/TTungsteNN Dec 06 '21

Spoiler for the “Too much information” bits.

My wife has this long ongoing issue with her cycle. Essentially, she gets her period around 4-6 times a year. Each one lasts a full month. She gets cramps so bad she just lies in bed crying for hours while I feed her painkillers and give her hot packs and stuff. She also pushes out tennis ball sized clots somewhat regularly, and bleeds so bad that she needs to change her pad every hour (the super heavy duty overnight ones.) I know if I went through what she does there’s no fucking way I’d go to work. For many “regular” women, I can still understand a day or two off when it’s at its worst.

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u/NukaGrapes Dec 07 '21

I know that this sounds embarrassing, but I'd (gently) bring up using adult diapers to your wife. I can't count how many pairs of underwear or towels I'd ruined before I transitioned because of menstrual blood.

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u/TTungsteNN Dec 07 '21

Yeah she’s mentioned it as well. She’s not super embarrassed about it, she’s just tired of it all. Think I’ll mention this on her next bad one

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u/Luxxanne Dec 07 '21

Oh man, I really hope your wife gets the help she needs as this sounds horrifying.

Also, side note, do you check her blood levels once in a while? This sounds like the perfect scenario for bad blood-loss related anemia.

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u/SergeantToast Dec 07 '21

I’m so sorry to hear about what your wife deals with. I have a similar issue in that without birth control I only have one day off my period a month. I assume you’ve been through many doctors who have told her either that it’s normal or can’t be fixed? Is birth control a possibility for your wife, or does it cause unwanted side effects?

Wishing you both the best.

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u/robo3473 at work Dec 06 '21

Two of my previous girlfriends had periods so bad they would be vomiting or worse for days at a time. I never thought it could get that bad, but Jesus, girls need time off for that shit

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u/millennialmonster755 Dec 07 '21

This is so common. I would say at least 40% of my friends have this issue during their period. Let's not leave out that pregnant women also are vomiting regularly every morning and just going back to work like nothing happened. We are literally just taught to shake off lie illness or pain like nothing is wrong. Men get this too by being told to me tough, but I don't think men how far women are doing regularly.

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u/FollowMeOutOfTheCave Dec 06 '21 Silver Helpful Take My Energy

As a 24 year old man who has never had a period, I’m just going to assume that women know better than I about the subject and let them make the rules around it. Seems simple right? Same logic should go towards abortion laws.

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u/LeeisureTime Dec 06 '21

Yeah the problem as I see it is that there are women bosses with light periods who then say, “Well I can work and I’m a woman!” And that gets applied to women who are genuinely incapacitated. Which is an absolute tragedy because I wouldn’t wish period pains on anyone, and then have them come in to work.

It’s toxic and I don’t really have a good answer. The worst I’ve seen is where I was on jury duty for a case between two people who used to date, they got in the backseat of his car, and when the girl told him to stop, he didn’t…

Absolutely mindblowing how almost all of the women on the jury were out to get that girl. I personally would not have been in the backseat with that guy if I were her, but what does that matter in a legal sense? The issue was whether or not he forced himself on her and he did (and acknowledged it in later texts!) and the women still blamed the girl. r/ awfuleverything.

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u/JulesLovesYou1993 Dec 07 '21 Take My Energy This

Internalized misogyny is a real bitch. I think sometimes women do this because we don't want to deal with the reality that the world is a scary place sometimes, and you can do everything right and still get hurt.

From my personal experience as a survivor of SA, I recognize now that a lot of the reason I blamed myself for so long was to feel like I had some sort of control over it. If it was my fault, that meant that I could do something different to make sure it never happened again. I think for a lot of women who victim blame, their subconscious thinking is the same. "If she did something to make it her fault, then that means that I can do the right things and nothing will happen to me."

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u/WorkWriteWin Dec 06 '21

I also am just thinking about it now for the first time, stupidly. But I guess periods were a reason women were blocked from doing anything physical or equal to men for so long. I imagine generations of women suppressed talking about period pain, and normalized working through it, because they were hellbent on proving that it didn’t affect their ability to do equal tasks. And now that we’re in 2021, and we’d hope that we don’t have to pass those kinds of bullshit stoic masochistic tests anymore to demonstrate our worth, we’re able to speak frankly about menstrual pain and the general male culture doesn’t believe it.

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u/SexiKitty--s2-- Dec 07 '21

You'd be surprised... I have had many women doctors when I was 13 to 28 now and only one has recognized my menstrual pain as a bigger problem. I have been told countless times that "oh we all feel that pain it's normal, we get pale, nauseous, and have some pain. Just go back to class/home. Pop some pain meds." And it turns out I might have endometriosis and starting the process of checking this out. And I'm not talking just slight pain, I'm always passing out from how much it hurts. And I was ignored. Many of us are ignored from other women because they don't feel the same pain as some of us do. If only it were that simple... Women are just as bitchy (if not more bitchy) then man who don't understand it. Because women think they know it all.

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u/Megmca Dec 06 '21

I think more women have severe period pain than we realize because like 70% of doctors just say it’s normal and to take ibuprofen.

If we had universal healthcare more women would be properly diagnosed for things like endometriosis, PCOS and fibroids.

If we had more correct diagnoses of medical issues then women might not have such a hard time being taken seriously when describing symptoms.

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u/Smooth-Ocelot-5086 SocDem Dec 07 '21

If we had universal healthcare more women would be properly diagnosed for things like endometriosis, PCOS and fibroids.

canadian here. sadly probably not.

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u/New_Fishing_ Dec 07 '21

I was going to say the same. Also Canadian with a family history of endo and my doctor just gave me a birth control rx for crippling period pain and left it there. No comments or questions.

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u/NukaGrapes Dec 07 '21

I actually had a doctor tell me to not even bother to get tested for endometriosis because any time I'd end up in the ER for lower abdominal pain it would be attributed to endometriosis and I'd be sent home. She said she'd seen it happen.

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u/Daomadan Dec 07 '21

In Japan, we had allowed days off work for period pain. Yes, this pain (and others) are valid for not needing to go to work!

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u/batclub3 Dec 06 '21

It's Day 2. I'm cramping. Want to eat everything in sight. And the thought of putting on ANYTHING other than sweatpants or leggings and a sweatshirt pissed me off. Now in this case, I don't feel awful enough that I can't work, just don't want to go to the office. However, my office only let's you work from home 2 days a week unless there are extenuating circumstances. So I texted my boss I may not come in at all this week. She didn't care and said she'd just report I felt crummy and would be at home.

However! I have very light issues. I know women who genuinely cannot work during their period. And honestly we should normalize not coming to work because I don't feel like it.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '21

We should also add that if someone's period is so bad that they're incapacitated, then they should get free help

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u/batclub3 Dec 06 '21

Oh now hold up! You know Healthcare isn't a right in the US! Neither is taking people who have periods seriously! /s

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u/sluthulhu Dec 06 '21

Period symptoms vary so wildly, sometimes even for the same woman across her lifetime. I have never come close to needing to call out for period pain, but I have had friends with endometriosis who are absolutely in agony while on their period. So basically: I think it’s valid, and it should be left up to the person suffering’s judgement. If you feel like you are in too much pain to work, then that’s it, no further discussion needed.

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u/thebirbseyeview Dec 06 '21

Or how about the blinding migraines that come with periods. Trying to drive with one is extremely dangerous.

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u/Dull_DarContact_421 Dec 06 '21

As a man I do not understand this intimately, however if you are in pain, recurring or otherwise, you shouldn't go to work. You cannot perform your job effectively if your mind is getting signals for pain and discomfort. Basically you being in pain, sick, or otherwise compromised mentally or physically is wasted payroll on your employers part because they are not getting your best effort and performance.

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u/Parallelism09191989 Dec 06 '21

Being in excruciating pain is a valid reason to stay home?

AGREE.

And I’m a male.

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u/Aschriel Dec 06 '21

Any pain or discomfort is reason enough.

No employer should have the authority to deny leave over employees health.

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