r/TooAfraidToAsk Dec 20 '21 Silver Helpful

Moderator Post TooAfraidToAsks Best of 2021, giving away years of Reddit Premium!


At the end of every year, Reddit Admins give every subreddit the ability to give out Reddit Premium

With 2021 now behind us, it is time for a little reflection on some of the answers from this past year that have made the subreddit so great, and while we believe that everyone who has contributed to the subreddit, whether by asking, answering, or just reading, has played an indispensable part, we also want to recognize those users who truly went above and beyond for 2021.

How to vote

all winners are awarded based upon community cast votes so be sure to check out the top of 2021

in order to cast your votes by coming back here and commenting under the category a link to the post you prefer. It doesn't have to be a highly upvoted post to be considered, I just put a link to our top of the last year for reference if you'd like to start there. Here is an example of how it works if you're still confused, this is from our 2018 best of contest.

Here are the categories we've chosen for the prize of Premium

Question that is the most in the spirit of “TooAfraidToAsk” (12 months of Premium)

Favorite Comment (6 months of Premium)

Favorite Question (6 months of Premium)

Most Educational Comment (6 months of premium)

Please restrict discussion about these categories and awards to the stickied comment marked “discussion here”

Prizes will be awarded in February of 2022, Cast your votes below!

r/TooAfraidToAsk 26d ago

Moderator Post A concise guide on how to filter certain flairs to remove post types from your front page.


Taken from https://www.reddit.com/r/modhelp/comments/czx9so/filtering_by_flair_a_guide_for_desktop_old_and/

Guide to Filtering Reddit

With Link Flair, you can use Reddits built in filter function to better tailor your Reddit experience to fit what you're interested in. Below are brief guides on how to browse specific content or simply remove certain content from your front page.

List of Flairs Currently in Use on /r/TooAfraidToAsk

  • Culture & Society
  • Education and school
  • Sexuality & Gender
  • Race & Privilege
  • Mental Health
  • Body Image/Self-Esteem
  • Interpersonal
  • Media
  • Family
  • Ethics & Morality
  • Work
  • Law & Government
  • Animals & Pets
  • Climate & Environment
  • Drugs & Alcohol
  • Pandemic & Lockdown
  • Politics
  • Love & Dating
  • Health/Medical
  • Religion
  • Sex/NSFW
  • Grief & Loss
  • Habits & Lifestyle
  • Current Events
  • Reddit-related
  • Meta
  • Other


Users using Old Reddit can do so with RES

If you don't have Reddit Enhancement Suite Click here to get it!

  1. Open your RES Console

  2. Open Subreddits, then FilteReddit. Scroll down until you find Filter by Flair

  3. Add the flairs you don't want to see anymore.

Redesign Users

Desktop users using the redesign can Click on flair to filter from the sidebar. Note that this will only show that specific flair. If you want to view the front page with one or more flairs missing, follow the guide in the next section.

Mobile Web & Desktop users can filter using the search function.

Type -flair:FLAIRNAME in the search box. This also works on the re-design for desktop.

Or bookmark this link, amended to whichever your preference is, currently set to sex/NSFW questions: https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/search?q=-flair%3Asex%2FNSFW&restrict_sr=on&sort=top&t=day

You can add more filters by writing -flair:FLAIRHERE, -flair:FLAIRHERE etc. This also works on the re-design for desktop, however you'll have to manually sort by "top" and "last 24 hours" every time you add a new flair to the list.

This will show you the front page as it exists without the posts that have the flairs you specify.


Reddit (Official)

  1. Search in the search bar at the top of the app the subreddit you want to view, then select it.

  2. After you've landed on that sub, tap the search bar again. When you do a list of popular flairs will appear

  3. Tapping any of them will show you the posts that have that flair, you will want to sort by new to find the newest things however.

  4. If you want to see the entire flair list, go back to step 2 and tap "See More".

You cannot flair filter properly with this app and it's considerably slower than others, so I'd recommend picking one of the ones below.


Check first if you have Link Flair enabled. If you have Link Flair enabled, skip steps 2 and 3.

  1. Tap the 3 dots in the top right and go down to Settings

  2. Scroll down and open Appearance

  3. Scroll around 3 quarters of the way down and enable the Link Flair options

  4. Return to Settings and go to Content Filters.

  5. Tap "Post Filters", then select the + in the top right. Select which subreddit you'd like to filter from and by flair, then add the flairs name.


  1. Tap the 3 horizontal lines in the top left and go down to Settings

  2. Tap Filters

  3. Go to Link Flair Blacklist

  4. Write whatever you'd like to filter in and add it as a filter.

This app will filter indicated flairs across all subreddits, not just specific ones.

Sync for Reddit

  1. Tap the 3 horizontal lines in the top left.

  2. Go down to Settings

  3. Scroll down a ways to Filters

  4. Select "Flair Filters" and add the flair you want to filter.

This app will filter indicated flairs across all subreddits, not just specific ones.

Boost for Reddit

  1. Tap the 3 horizontal lines in the top left.

  2. Go down to Settings

  3. Tap Content Filters

  4. Tap Flairs and write what you want to filter

This app will filter indicated flairs across all subreddits, not just specific ones.

Slide for Reddit

  1. Tap the 3 horizontal lines in the top left.

  2. Go down to Settings

  3. Scroll down to Content, and then Filters

  4. At the bottom, Flair Filters

  5. Write filters as SUBREDDITNAME:FLAIR, save. It will appear as this.

Joey for Reddit

  1. Tap the 3 horizontal lines in the top left

  2. Go down to Settings

  3. Scroll down to Filters

  4. Select Flair Filter

  5. Add the flairs you want to filter

This app will filter indicated flairs across all subreddits, not just specific ones.


  1. Tap the 3 horizontal lines in the top left.

  2. Go to settings

  3. Tap through to Post Filter

  4. Tap the + sign in the lower right to begin creating your filter.

  5. Customize the filter as necessary, though this is the relevant bit for this guide

  6. Save in the top right, then tap the newly saved filter and select 'apply to'

  7. Apply your filter to the where you want it placed

Logged out Users (Desktop)

Some people can't log into Reddit but still browse and want to filter. You can do this most effectively on old Reddit as new Reddit will change your sorting preferences anytime you add a new flair to filter. Using this filtering system, you will see all relevant posts for the last 24 hours, effectively showing you the front page as it exists without whatever you're filtering.

You can do this by going to https://old.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/search?q=&restrict_sr=on&sort=relevance&t=day

Once there, write -flair:FLAIRNAME, -flair:FLAIRNAME, -flair:FLAIRNAMEand so on. Make use of the block quotes in the flair list above so that flairs with spaces in them filter properly.

Apollo pro+ for iOS

  1. Tap the Settings button in the bottom right

  2. Tap Add Keyword

  3. Add the flairs you wish to filter

Other iOS hardware -> WIP

Apps that do not support Flair Filtering

Some mobile apps support some level of filtering but not Flair Filtering. These are:

  • Now for Reddit
  • Red Reader (can't filter anything)
  • Relay

r/TooAfraidToAsk 8h ago Silver Helpful Wholesome

Sexuality & Gender Why does rap music get a pass on misogyny?


Virtually every modern rap song expresses downright psychopathic views and actions towards women. If you actually listen to the lyrics, it’s extremely disturbing.

Yet I never hear anything from the progressive/left/feminist crowd about it.

r/TooAfraidToAsk 11h ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Today I Learned To The Stars

Religion If God only wanted people to only have sex for procreation why didn't he make sex painful and childbirth feel really good?


I'm an atheist but I'm curious of what take religious people would have on this question. I feel like this would just make a lot more sense if you only wanted sex to happen inside a marriage and/or to have a child.

r/TooAfraidToAsk 20h ago Take My Energy LOVE! Bless Up Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote

Culture & Society How is everyone else not utterly exhausted by superhero movies at this point?


There are so many. There have been so many. There continue to be so many pumped out every year.

Not saying I haven’t enjoyed some, but after the first four or five, it’s a bit redundant.

Edit: posted this just before I went to bed and I woke up to find a lot more people than I thought feel the way I do! Thanks so much for all of the comments and engagement, and special thanks to all who gave awards - too kind.

Edit #2: since there’s been an influx of comments basically saying “why do you care, just don’t watch them” - I DON’T watch them, because I’m exhausted by how many there are and can’t possibly keep up. I’m asking how YOU aren’t also exhausted/continue to enjoy them just as much as the first 100 or so.

r/TooAfraidToAsk 12h ago

Media No disrespect, but how do I get out of the "American bubble" on the internet?


im sorry if the title comes off as offensive, I have nothing against America, but most things I see on the internet are American centered and I want a more world focused feed. I feel like reddit is becoming more American everyday, heck most posts on popular are American politics and it's honestly depressing. it's becoming hard converting lbs and miles everytime. someone help me

edit: after realizing that this is a stupid question I've decided to go back to where I came from

r/TooAfraidToAsk 3h ago

Mental Health How does one get tested for ADHD or autism as an adult?


I've always had suspicion that I might be on the spectrum but whenever I try and bring it up to my mother or fiance they just brush me off and sometime laugh. I've wanted to get tested but I'm scared I will be ridiculed if I try. I had a therapist when I was young but she had personal beliefs that leaked into her work so I never got a direct or clear answer.

r/TooAfraidToAsk 1d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy

Family How to get stay at home wife to clean house?


My wife is a stay at home mom. She is an awesome mom. However, our house gets really dirty from the kids and she doesnt maintain it. She doesnt clean well or much at all. Kids are at school all day and I work a full time job and 3 part time jobs to pay the bills. She does do errands each day but then also naps for several hrs each day too.

How do I approach this? I would love to hire a cleaner but that would require her going back to work to pay for it which is a whole other issue. Other option is for me to do it but I literally do not have the time. When I bring this stuff up she gets really mad at me. Otherwise we are very happy together. Its just these few issues we cant work out.

She says my stance on her cleaning is from the 1940s. But she is home all day while kids at school. I am working like 70 hrs a week to pay for everything. Suggestions?

r/TooAfraidToAsk 1d ago Helpful Wholesome

Other What's that something that only women understand and men don't?


r/TooAfraidToAsk 20h ago Silver

Culture & Society I mean no disrespect, but I have never received a good explanation as to why Jews, in virtually every era and in almost every society, have been reviled, persecuted, scapegoated and considered second class citizens. But why?


From 63 BC when the Romans conquered the Holy Land to the present, every society I can think of has been virulently antisemitic. The explanation for some of it makes sense, like the middle ages when Christians were prohibited from lending money, but that does not explain the majority of civilized society being so passionately antisemitic. Why though? What about this group of people is unique in eliciting hatred?

Edit: while I'm at it, my understanding of preWW2 Germany that they blamed Jews for Germany's loss of WW1. Why? Why did they believe the Jews were responsible for their humiliation at the hands of the West?

Edit 2: It appears to go beyond merely considering them "other." They have regularly and by multiple societies been targeted for elimination. They even have a word for it, "pogrom." I simply cannot understand the level of hatred that leads society after society to systematically try and murder this group of people. It is, so far, beyond my comprehension and unique to this specific group of people.

r/TooAfraidToAsk 1h ago

Family I want to write a book, would anyone be interested in this?


My great grandparents were Holocaust survivors and they truly had incredible lives. There have been attempts of people my family knows to write books and make documentaries, but everything has fallen through so far. They would speak to the students at the local high school about their experiences, because they believed that if people were not educated about the Holocaust, then it would happen again. I would write about their lives, what they overcame, how they met, and how they turned their lives around for the better. I feel that it is very important for stories like theirs to be known.

r/TooAfraidToAsk 7h ago

Reddit-related Why do some subreddits have a bot posting in each thread saying "if you think this thread fits the subreddit theme - upvote me, if not - downvote". There already is upvote/downvote system. What is the purpose for these bots?


r/TooAfraidToAsk 7h ago

Culture & Society Am I weird for hating be called a "bitch" or other derogatory terms in a friendly or joking way?


I've always hated when girls call each other bitches. An example would be the common "What's up bitches?" said by either women or men. Or even during sex, my ex's would call me that or "slut" because it's something they saw in porn. I hate being called those. But I also feel like I'm coming off as a prude if I speak up about it since people take it so casually.

r/TooAfraidToAsk 1d ago hehehehe

Love & Dating Why is it ok for women to have a height standard for men, but men are judged for having a weight(fitness) standard for women?


I’m a woman, and I honestly see it as a double standard. I know that some men and women don’t care about these things, but they seem to be pretty common requirements in the dating world today.

r/TooAfraidToAsk 3h ago

Sex/NSFW Why do men care about penis size so much?


like there's subs on here about dicks that are just filled with men talking about how women double standard by caring about dick size, but the only time I've seen a woman mention dick size is when they're trying to appease an insecure person?

r/TooAfraidToAsk 2h ago

Education & School Why would parents harass and berate public school committees about what the curriculum should and shouldn’t have in the US if they could just as easily homeschool their children instead?


I’ve been seeing a huge uptick in parents just freaking out on school boards and school committees over what’s being taught in public schools.

Most of these parents really just want to be able to control what their kids are learning about and there’s really no better way to do that than with homeschooling.

So… why don’t they just homeschool???

The process itself would probably be easier and less of a hassle than if you yelled at some school faculty for a few weeks until they finally change the curriculum for you.

Why would they choose to do things the hard way?

r/TooAfraidToAsk 6h ago

Sex/NSFW Do extremely tall people have proportionate penis sizes to their height?


I'm talking NBA player levels of height. From 6"4+.. I've always wondered if their penises are massive because of height or they could have what the average size penis would be and it would look incredibly small on their body?

r/TooAfraidToAsk 3h ago

Animals & Pets Does the average person feel bad about killing ants?


I just remembered a time when I was a teenager working a desk at an amusement park, it was the shed where lost children come until their parents find them, and ants kept infesting the counter and growing in size. I kept trying to flick them but it would make them go away so I resorted to just smashing them with a binder and then scooping the remains into the trash. Kinda felt bad but hey, they’re ants, we’ve all stepped on a few. Now today I feel kinda guilty about this cause I killed a lot of ants that day. You can go to the store and buy ant repellent to wipe out an entire colony, but I still feel kinda bad. Those ants had feelings too. Is it normal to feel guilty about having to get rid of small insects?

r/TooAfraidToAsk 1h ago

Religion If Jesus died for everyone's sin, shouldn't he have stayed dead?


r/TooAfraidToAsk 1h ago

Culture & Society Why don’t people use their turn signals?


I never understand why people erratically change lanes without any warning. A turn signal is very conveniently located yet people choose not to use it. Why?

r/TooAfraidToAsk 5h ago

Race & Privilege Do Asian restaurants (Chinese, Japanese etc.) in America try to hire specifically Asian people?


Maybe it's just a confirmation bias, but I swear a lot of the times when I went to an Asian restaurant, almost everyone who worked there was Asian. It would make sense obviously, but do these restaurants specifically hire Asian people? Like can you be rejected for not being Asian even if you had the necessary skills to cook the food?

What about mixed people? Like if I were only half or quarter Asian would I still get in?

r/TooAfraidToAsk 5h ago

Health/Medical How is it possible that 30-45 minutes after I eat a salad I am pooping out chunks of spinach?

  1. I thought it took way longer than 30 minutes for food to pass through the digestive tract
  2. It's definitely not something I ate days or hours before since I have a salad once a week if that
  3. This is literally straight from google " After you eat, it takes about six to eight hours for food to pass through your stomach and small intestine. Food then enters your large intestine (colon) for further digestion, absorption of water and, finally, elimination of undigested food. It takes about 36 hours for food to move through the entire colon. "
  4. THIS SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE - is there something wrong with me?

r/TooAfraidToAsk 3h ago

Mental Health Can someone have “suicidal” thought without being depressed? NSFW


(Throw away account) To preface, I’m not even sure if you can describe these as “suicidal thoughts” or just negative ones. Anyway I was just wondering if it normal for people to think about killing themselves a few times throughout the week without being depressed. I’m not depressed or constantly sad, but a few times a week i just have short periods of time when I feel really down and sad, I think about how I don’t like life and how, when, and where. I’ll be sad for about 45ish minutes then it’ll just go away and I’ll be fine until it randomly happens again. This is not a cry for help or attention, and I don’t think I’d go through with it one day, I’m just checking

r/TooAfraidToAsk 4h ago

Interpersonal Does anyone actually say to people "Sorry I already made plans with someone else"? Because people keep cancelling things with me last minute and it's driving me crazy.


I made plans with a friend for last Saturday. Then my dad called me the day before and asked me to come by. I told him I couldn't that day because I already made plans so we pushed it a few days. Seems simple right?

Compare that to my friends who were planning on coming over tomorrow all week long and suddenly today I'm told "oh sorry my husband is busy something came up".

This story happens to me so much and I'm beyond frustrated. Why the FUCK do I even want to hang out with people who do this? I'd rather just learn and accept to do things alone at this point.

r/TooAfraidToAsk 43m ago

Law & Government Why are dark window tints on cars illegal in so many places, but the windows on so many cop cars are completely opaque?


What happens if there is an emergency and someone goes toward a a police vehicle looking for help only to find out the car is empty?

Why is there a double standard?

r/TooAfraidToAsk 44m ago

Interpersonal Is it weird to go to bars/clubs alone?


I’m a second year college student, very reserved, and I’m just not meeting anybody. The isolation has been hitting me really hard lately.

I don’t want to spend this Friday night at my apartment but I don’t have anyone to go with. However I also don’t want to be that lonely drunk that people at bars avoid. I’ve gotten really drunk at the bars before and I feel good, but the next morning I usually feel ashamed of myself. But I can’t be social at all without that influence. It’s just really tough.

Is it weird to go alone? If it’s not, what are the best things I can do to improve my social impact? I feel like a ghost.

r/TooAfraidToAsk 5h ago

Other What's up with pistachios? There's like one brand and packaging running it all. The black and green. Is pistachios an actual nut or just the brand?