r/PeopleFuckingDying Oct 21 '21 Hugz 16 Wholesome Seal of Approval 1 Duck Dance 1 Silver 16 Helpful 14 Wholesome 19

sErIaL KiLlEr aTtAcKs hIs nExT ViCtIm

46.3k Upvotes

1.2k

u/phantomkg Oct 21 '21

Ooo thank God that rabbit is caged. Otherwise we'd all we done for

386

u/twobit211 Oct 21 '21

“brother meynard, bring out the holy hand grenade”

117

u/NotAPreppie Oct 21 '21

One, two, FIVE!

87

u/AdKlutzy1271 Oct 21 '21

Three sir

62

u/NotAPreppie Oct 21 '21

THREE!!!

23

u/itsfreepizza Oct 21 '21

FOUR!!

21

u/Hero-Mane Oct 21 '21

five.

11

u/MrBobBobsonIII Oct 21 '21

Sometimes I feel like I'm at a horrible disadvantage in life by not knowing how to count. 😔

5

u/d0nttalk2me Oct 21 '21

Five is right out!

10

u/justjoshmofo Oct 21 '21

Guys I just went through some shit a few swipes ago with 5’s and !’s I don’t think I’m ready for this again

2

u/Capital_Ordinary8043 Oct 21 '21

Lol i wass just there too

24

u/JesusRasputin Oct 21 '21

Oh no that poor thing…

30

u/IMAFISH_AMA Oct 21 '21

Even worse, there's at least a second in there with them in the last few frames. Guessing they're food not friends

12

u/kkris23 Oct 21 '21

Pretty normal in lots of countries to eat rabbit tbh

4

u/friend__doe Oct 21 '21

Doesn't make me any less sad

2

u/kkris23 Oct 21 '21

True true, but try understand they are relatively cheap and breed … like rabbits, so easy food for a lot of people

7

u/schnuck Oct 21 '21

That’s no rabbit. It’s a two headed goose. Twice as lethal.

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893

u/aFerens Oct 21 '21 Silver Hugz

Peace was never an option.

90

u/mrlouiep Oct 21 '21

He said the thing.

29

u/Mister_Krunch Oct 21 '21

Honk

5

u/LowlanDair Oct 21 '21

Wait. So, Thatcher's deid?

Party time!

46

u/MooseBoys Oct 21 '21

The fact that this is not the top comment is UNACCEPTABLE!!!

12

u/slampard803 Oct 21 '21

UNACCEPTABLE CONDITION!!!!

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3

u/Avatarofjuiblex Oct 21 '21

No it’s a tired meme

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3

u/R3dd1t_4LR34dy Oct 21 '21

“HONK!!!” Pulls out knife

3

u/BRUHSKl Oct 21 '21

You mess with the honk you get the bonk.

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370

u/brandonm679 Oct 21 '21

The moment the goose entered frame my mind was flooded with sounds of Untitled Goose Honk.

80

u/TheOriginalDuck2 Oct 21 '21

HONK

28

u/NotAPreppie Oct 21 '21

HONK, HONK, MOTHERFUCKER!!

3

u/Cabinet_Juice Oct 21 '21

Honk if Thatcher’s dead

12

u/dinklezoidberd Oct 21 '21

Make 5 villagers cower in a store

20

u/546576 Oct 21 '21

it works pretty well lmao

4

u/cpnHindsight Oct 21 '21

Title fits

275

u/Joten Oct 21 '21 Wholesome

Geese (which this looks like) are evil and REALLY sexist.

This story is going to sound fake but I swear it isn't.

I (male) worked at a software firm where a Goose couple decided they had to nest. I worked with a bunch of amazing women.....who were chased off of our side door daily by a dickhead male Goose.

It got so bad that we just started working with each other so each of our female collogues had a male counterpart to escort her to their car.... because he wouldn't charge if a dude was around.

Sexist MF geese.....Geese are dicks....literally and figuratively.

36

u/Bookish811 Oct 21 '21

I believe it. My orthodontist office was next to a pond with geese that would literally chase me into the building at every appointment. It has been 20 years and I am still scarred. Geese are fucking terrible.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '21 edited Nov 02 '21

[deleted]

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11

u/jjackdaw Oct 21 '21

Can confirm. The geese at a pond near me hated me for as long as I remember. However I’m a trans guy, and since. starting hormones I’ve been (mostly) spared from the goose rage now

81

u/omfglmao Oct 21 '21

Actually sounds like those geese makes a good wing man, creating chances for the dudes to express their manhood (sort of?)

32

u/Not_a_real_ghost Oct 21 '21

"HONK HONK (Gimme your money, bitch!)"

23

u/CoGLucifer Oct 21 '21

Somehow, I doubt that spinning a goose by its neck like a lasso is much of a panty-dropper.

16

u/Gekthegecko Oct 21 '21

You'd be surprised.

3

u/KingNecrosis Oct 21 '21

Geese are mean mofos, and they have teeth.

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4

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '21

[deleted]

2

u/AI2cturus Oct 21 '21

I'm curious, do you know this from real life experience?

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3

u/giftsamuel_ Oct 21 '21

This guy's right geese are evil. watch this if you're not convinced yet

2

u/ayanoyamada Oct 21 '21

Geese are evil. My high school had a lake nearby that had a bunch of evil geese there constantly. My teacher went for a jog and ended up having to punch a goose in the head to defend herself.

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320

u/XBacklash Oct 21 '21

uS goVErM3ñT Dr0ne STrIké mISseS TaRgET

130

u/meister2a Oct 21 '21

She ducked in the nick of time

73

u/best-commenter Oct 21 '21 Silver

She escaped by a hare

69

u/garmanarnar34090 Oct 21 '21

She must owe that goose some money.

50

u/Spastic_Slapstick Oct 21 '21 edited Oct 21 '21

Untitled Goose Game 2: Brazil Streets

Rated M

2

u/SrSideral Oct 21 '21

Not brazil, the street curb is too uniform and the sidewalk looks too fancy to be brazil (we use basic concrete here). I can't recognize the car. That thing behind looks like a fire pit or something like that, here you can find barbecue pits everywhere but not that thing. Also looks like the camera has a facial recognition feature. (yellow squares). Probably china I would say.

-9

u/justavault Oct 21 '21 edited Oct 21 '21

She looks East Asian. Also moves like typical middle-aged East Asian woman.

18

u/Grigorie Oct 21 '21

Kinda weird comment, bro. Also, not that I think that is the case, but Brazil has the second largest Japanese population outside of Japan. Fun fact.

2

u/No-Tangerine-9725 Oct 21 '21

but why though

4

u/justavault Oct 21 '21

So China has fewer East Asians than Brazil?

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34

u/Mondesi123 Oct 21 '21

I think I’d bounce from the Naruto running goose too

9

u/JOSimpson Oct 21 '21

Lmao the goose runs like that Naruto kid from every high school that runs between classes

8

u/TonkorGuy Oct 21 '21

It means business

16

u/meister2a Oct 21 '21

Goose Lee

5

u/desertesports Oct 21 '21

Swiggity swooty…

5

u/Apprehensive_Eraser Oct 21 '21

Guys! That's the marketing manager of the shop! He forces people to go inside an look at the products while they try to run away from it

6

u/Ckinggaming5 Oct 21 '21

Finally, a literal r/PeopleFuckingDying post

83

u/Ullyr_Atreides Oct 21 '21

Lmao, you must've never been attacked by a goose? I'm 6ft and muscular as hell and would still run away like a bitch.

34

u/JColeisokatbest Oct 21 '21

Birds are built different

17

u/SoulWager Oct 21 '21

Not nearly as bad as swans though.

19

u/FerricNitrate Oct 21 '21

No luck catching them swans then?

12

u/MassMtv Oct 21 '21

It's just the one swan, actually

7

u/PinkwaterBadgeHolder Oct 21 '21

"Aaron A Aaronsen"

4

u/Not_a_real_ghost Oct 21 '21

"Peter Ian Staker"

19

u/Protton6 Oct 21 '21

I once fought a swan by the riverside in my city... Attacked an incredibly oblivious mother with her stroller, the dumb bitch just ran away, left the stroller with the screeching baby there. The swan did not apreciate the screeching stroller and started attacking it, luckily it did not find the baby, just pecked the stroller.
So I fought it off, the bites did not really hurt against the jacket I had and it was scared off easily once it figured out I wont run like the rest of the humans it probably attacked. Still, what a fucker. Managed to kick it in its stupid face though, so that was satisfying.

6

u/TheOutcastLeaf Oct 21 '21

I feel bad for that baby :(

12

u/Protton6 Oct 21 '21

The baby was fine, the stroller was a little pecked up (these fuckers seem to have some strenght in the bite, it actualy fucked up the paint a little) but also fine, the mother was histerical, the swan was mad as heck but also too scared to engage me again and I felt like a part of the Avengers for at least two days.

3

u/sam_weiss Oct 21 '21

Wow what a shitty mother :/

3

u/Not_a_real_ghost Oct 21 '21

Mum: Save yourselves! Baby welcome to the real world!

3

u/Varatec Oct 21 '21

What's your opinion on cassowaries?

1

u/Regular_Chap Oct 21 '21

Swans can be such assholes lol.

Worst is when they block the path that you are planning to walk and refuse to move even when you patientyl wait 10 minutes because you have no other way except walking in a ditch.

I've had to "fight one off" (just flailing my hands at it and not backing up when it charges at you) three times and luckily never got hurt in any way but I'm sure one day that big dumb biped will bite me and I'm very much not looking forward to it.

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10

u/chinchenping Oct 21 '21

when i was a dumb teen i was dared to catch a goose, they are way over rated. If you get bit, it will hurt, a lot, but if you grad their head, it's done

4

u/vf225 Oct 21 '21

can confirm, when i was young and visited my grandma who lived in a rural village, there were gooses everywhere, I often got chase around because those gooses were huge, almost half of my height at that time.

for many years later, I learnt to grab those fuckers by the neck and swang throw it away, vengence felt so good.

I would still run from a group of gooses though... their bites hurt a lot..

3

u/Zess_Crowfield Oct 21 '21

They're weak against grab attacks, got it.

8

u/VanquishedVoid Oct 21 '21

For a full write up on the Goose build, see this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_pwPhFvgNo

7

u/Ullyr_Atreides Oct 21 '21

True, but if you don't grab their head... You're done lmao

8

u/CoGLucifer Oct 21 '21

It's a goose. Even if it's morbidly obese, it's not going to be any heavier than 20lb. No matter what you grab, there's no reason it shouldn't play out like that Avengers scene with Loki and Hulk.

-1

u/Hidalgo321 Oct 21 '21

What if it grabs your eyeballs… or your middle..

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2

u/Boneal171 Oct 21 '21

Geese scare me, the ones that hang around my college campus are aggressive the staff had to warn students to not get too close to them

1

u/throwaway8675309535 Oct 21 '21

Eww, you’re a COVID denier and spreader of misinformation, no wonder you’d still run away even if “muscular”

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0

u/justavault Oct 21 '21

They are weak birds... it doesn't even hurt for an adult to be caught between their beak.

0

u/pantless_vigilante Oct 21 '21

They hurt and they're a lot bigger in person than they look on vids

1

u/A_decent_person_1994 Oct 21 '21

Once a goose hates you ,it will chase you all the time

1

u/reditvan Oct 21 '21

Na, they are in my yard all the fing time, I run them off, if it really comes down to it you can take them, but they are scary if they are attacking.

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6

u/dre_day901 Oct 21 '21

that yellow square was out to get her pretty hard too

4

u/ptapobane Oct 21 '21

I heard in their vision everything is smaller than them so that’s why they never give a shit and just go for it

4

u/Stanarchy93 Oct 21 '21

God I hate geese

2

u/Alkuam Oct 21 '21

2

u/themanwhosfacebroke Oct 21 '21

Is it bad this was oddly satisfying for me?

3

u/yellow-hornbill Oct 21 '21

I need this video with ww2 plane audio

3

u/MiksuMike01 Oct 21 '21

Peace was never the answer

5

u/proce55or Oct 21 '21

“Option”. You’re a fake goose. You’re just a duck!

1

u/MiksuMike01 Oct 21 '21

Oh fuck... I even streamed that I game. I apologize I've let you down

3

u/PROM99 Oct 21 '21

I thought the serial killer was the yellow rectangle

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2

u/JulioMullis20 Oct 21 '21

"how to turn your cat into yoga cat"

2

u/FunkySjouke Oct 21 '21

Can I get a loop just of the goose like those old loading screens of a Windows version (the one with green blocks that loop but then with this goose/duck)

2

u/jurble Oct 21 '21

I like how the rabbits beg for her to release them from the cage, but she ignores them. Clip must end because the next 30 seconds are the goose destroying the cage and devouring them.

2

u/AllUrHeroesWillBMe2d Oct 21 '21

Peace was never an option

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2

u/meme_enthusiast3464 Oct 21 '21

We never saw her again

2

u/Sniperkitteh-52 Oct 21 '21

Peace was never an option

2

u/McDonalds_icecream Oct 21 '21

That goose game wasn’t lying

2

u/ClaudeJRdL Oct 21 '21

Obviously OP has never run into an angry goose themselves.

-1

u/dsl101 Oct 21 '21

Thank god for the yellow outline—I would have completely missed the person otherwise.

30

u/liandrin Oct 21 '21

That’s an inbuilt part of the security camera software. It tracks moving objects. OP didn’t go in and add in the dumb yellow square, it’s how the footage was originally recorded.

I work in security with software that does something similar, with red squares tracking movement. When you’re staring at hundreds of camera feeds at once, stuff like this is very helpful to make you focus on the relevant footage.

3

u/Mildmantis Oct 21 '21

Ours likes blue squares! I love em, can even adjust parameters to make scrubbing past footage a breeze!

3

u/liandrin Oct 21 '21

Yup I personalize my settings in the system as well to fit what I need to pay attention to. It’s actually really helpful :)

also it keeps me from getting completely fucked over if I miss a small 30 second long relevant segment on camera 148.

Seriously, I’ve had bosses write me up for missing 30 seconds on a single camera out of the 200 I’m supposed to monitor :/// because I’m apparently omniscient…

a big red square popping up is guaranteed to grab your attention, no matter how small the screen is.

2

u/Mildmantis Oct 21 '21

I know the feeling! Nothing more annoying than getting basically interrogated by your boss how ya didn't see the 10 second moment in time across 400ish cameras.

Luckily since our renovations my bosses are a little more understanding now that the entire wall is plastered with cameras vs just a piddly couple of 50 inch tvs.

5

u/Minotan Oct 21 '21

It's object detection. Well in this case it's trained to detect humans.

3

u/X1-Alpha Oct 21 '21

Yeah damn. Now the bloody computers are drawing helpful rectangles. Let's hope they don't become sentient and discover the joys of freehand circles in Paint...

5

u/proce55or Oct 21 '21

FELLOW HUMAN, I, A FELLOW HUMAN TOO, AGREE THAT THOSE YELLOW RECTANGLES ARE DISTRACTING AND I HOPE BLOODY COMPUTERS DON’T DISCOVER FREEHAND CIRCLES IN PAINT. ESPECIALLY IN red-circle.svg (param){}

3

u/yoinkdoink Oct 21 '21

yea, that's ai powered chinese cctv

2

u/Drunk_Henri Oct 21 '21 edited Oct 21 '21

It just informs the social credit status.

Which seems to be moderate/unsatisfying. Red means on a blacklist or soon to be expunged and sold for organs. Green means model citizen for Xi Jiping

(/jk don't know if this was recorded in China)

2

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '21

[deleted]

7

u/liandrin Oct 21 '21

That’s an inbuilt part of the security camera software. It tracks moving objects. OP didn’t go in and add in the dumb yellow square, it’s how the footage was originally recorded.

I work in security with software that does something similar, with red squares tracking movement. When you’re staring at hundreds of camera feeds at once, stuff like this is very helpful to make you focus on the relevant footage.

1

u/Thick_Football_6068 Oct 21 '21

It wouldn't be as funny without it, IMO.

1

u/Imaginary-Pea-3382 Oct 21 '21

Why don't I ever have any sound.

1

u/Jokojima Oct 21 '21

🗿🗿

1

u/Capitalmind Oct 21 '21

Ganders are best served with gravy

1

u/indi_guy Oct 21 '21

OMG! and he is Naruto running.

1

u/Giomoney23 Oct 21 '21

Everybody was hurt in the making of this video

1

u/JulieS1020 Oct 21 '21

"Is she! the one who punched my brother yesterday."

1

u/Salty_Play Oct 21 '21

Cobra Chicken mf, is on the hunt

1

u/IntergalacticFez Oct 21 '21

Bro what?? How is this not age restricted??

1

u/No-Scientist-4804 Oct 21 '21

Aerodynamic Speed attack max energy on engine😁

1

u/Legan_Ironfist Oct 21 '21

"Get her, GARY!"

1

u/editor_jon Oct 21 '21

Peace was never an option

1

u/rainbow_bro_bot Oct 21 '21

He found out she had been eating his friends.

1

u/TheOfficialSvengali Oct 21 '21

She ate his wife & kids the night before

1

u/fntastikr Oct 21 '21

Piece was never an option

1

u/BillEvansTrioFan Oct 21 '21

I've owned geese. Extremely territorial. That's actually kind of terrifying.

1

u/vampire5381 Oct 21 '21

peace was never an option

1

u/Important_Custard Oct 21 '21

Stop goosing around

1

u/XadrakeX Oct 21 '21

I thought it was a carrier bag 😂

1

u/Mysterious-okra-king Oct 21 '21

This is me when i was 6/7 years old 🤣

1

u/harxcesxiv Oct 21 '21

Honk honk

1

u/thejskck Oct 21 '21

Thank god that yellow box was there to show me what to look at

1

u/sjioldboy Oct 21 '21

Comeuppance for singing Ode to the Goose (classic Tang poem/kid's song).

HUR HUR HUR CH'U HSIANG HSIANG T'IEN GUR

1

u/SpritzTheCat Oct 21 '21

Release the bunny!

1

u/osrs_100 Oct 21 '21

it took me a few times watching tbis to figure out who the serial killer was ROFL.

1

u/DeltaruneFan573 Oct 21 '21

street looks a bit empty so it must have been the goose

1

u/AtheonsLedge Oct 21 '21

Give us the girl and wipe away the debt

1

u/BamboozledPanda09 Oct 21 '21

That's a drone on a mission

1

u/horrorkesh Oct 21 '21

Damn the goose has escaped the game

1

u/uniquecorn91 Oct 21 '21

Untilted goose game

1

u/Toxic-yawn Oct 21 '21

Look at that goose, step!.

1

u/cake_in_a_jar Oct 21 '21

He kinda looks like he's Naruto running

1

u/blanktom9 Oct 21 '21

Okay goose, now close and lock the door to get the achievement

1

u/JanwithBanan Oct 21 '21

damn Untitled Goose Game 2 looks sick

1

u/Rewiistdummlolxd Oct 21 '21

Its the Goose that comes to you if your social credit is too low

1

u/f_reehongkong Oct 21 '21

Thank god I put my drink down before watching, I almost died laughing when the goose stormed towards her

1

u/SpacemanTomX Oct 21 '21

Geese are a menace to society