r/BlackPeopleTwitter ☑️ Oct 20 '21 Silver 4 Helpful 3 Wholesome 4 Narwhal Salute 1

Use the resources that are out there. Country Club Thread

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33.5k Upvotes

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u/brightJERK ☑️ Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21 Silver Wholesome Hugz Take My Energy This I'll Drink to That

Legitimate question: is the implication here that all women (people) deserve to be paid for sex? Is there no real mutual enjoyment?

I guarantee this isn't a "1 and not the other" situation... because i guarantee options exist

I might be missing the point

Edit: Appreciate the awards ya'll

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u/Ill-Agent ☑️ Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21 Silver Helpful This

No. I believe the point is that for men who want the physical intimacy without the emotional connection, the concept of cash for intercourse should be rather obvious. Strip clubs and massage parlors have become lucrative industries in the last 25 years for precisely this reason. If you are willing to pay to see nudity and willing to pay to get naked and rubbed down, I don't see it as an unnatural extention to pay for sexual gratification.

I believe the tweet is kind of poking fun at wannabe players who believe their charming manner ought to entitle them to sexual gratification without commitments.

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u/Frozen_Hipp0 Oct 20 '21 Silver Wholesome

Yeah but those men also want to have sex with people who aren't just having sex with them for money. Especially if they're charmers. There's a difference between a ONS and a night of sex work.

The latter might be more professional but is that what they want?

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u/JudyLyonz Oct 20 '21

Wait.

If someone only wants no strings sex, what is the difference between a ONS and an encounter with a sex worker?

No strings means you don't want to be held to any promises, including a promise to have another encounter or even offer the woman a glass of water after sex. All you want to do is bust your nut, to be blunt.

A sex worker's job is to get you off. If they do a good job, you can meet with them again. If you don't like them so much you don't need to see them again, no harm, no foul.

So I'm curious, what do you see as the difference between ONS and an encounter with a sex worker?

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u/Area_Woman Oct 20 '21 Helpful

I’m not OP but what I think they might have tried to get at is that they might be seeking that ego boost that comes with earning that sexual gratification - “winning the hunt” so to say

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u/Chumbolex Oct 20 '21

I assume that too. I mean technically anyone can buy a ring designed to look like a super bowl ring

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u/Area_Woman Oct 20 '21

And anyone can pay for sex, but who can get THAT person to enthusiastically consent?

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u/jdcodring Oct 20 '21

Or maybe they just want to enjoy that person’s attitude. Like sometimes I may not want a relationship with someone but we can be chill.

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u/radiolabel Oct 21 '21

That original tweet was very likely directed at men who treat relationships with women as transactional. The kind of guy who expects sex because they paid for dinner, who expects sex by a certain amount of encounters, who engages in dating behaviors but strings them along and always keeps them at arms length, etc. Basically, your garden variety misogynist with toxic masculinity traits.

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u/SmartAlec105 Oct 20 '21 Hugz

I feel like that's a little bit of an uncharitable way of putting it. It's normal to want to be wanted.

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u/Ill-Agent ☑️ Oct 20 '21 Silver

You just can't get annoyed if you ask 20 women for sex without commitment and get denied 19 times because she's not interested in boosting your ego and body count.

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u/LetsHaveTon2 Oct 20 '21 Silver

Right, and that's completely fair as well. Women are autonomous human beings just like men are. If the hypothetical dude got annoyed because women denied him, that would be shitty of them.

I think it's fair for people to want what the hypothetical dude wants, as long as they're fair about being rejected as well. Mind you, I personally think it's a dumb thing to want, but that's more a matter of taste.

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u/megalurkeruygcxrtgbn ✂✂wants a forceful sterilization ✂✂ Oct 20 '21

I want whoever I'm fucking to be attracted to me and enjoying themselves. Adding money removes all that.

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u/thejaytheory ☑️ Oct 20 '21

Yeah this is very important to me.

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u/jadedea Oct 20 '21

So I'm curious, what do you see as the difference between ONS and an encounter with a sex worker?

Well, you said it, "No strings attached." A sex worker has a string attached to them, with a price tag at the end.

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u/thejaytheory ☑️ Oct 20 '21

Hit the nail on the head.

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u/Taeyx ☑️ Oct 20 '21

in how we raise men, there is value in a man's capability to "get" women, specifically to be charming and/or convincing enough to do so..going the sex worker route eliminates the interpersonal aspect and robs the man of feeling like he earned a feather in his proverbial "man box" hat

i'm not saying this is a good thing, i'm just giving you the "reasoning" men may or may not be aware of, since you asked

edit: missed a word

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u/Frylock904 Oct 21 '21

going the sex worker route eliminates the interpersonal aspect and robs the man of feeling like he earned a feather in his proverbial "man box" hat

I think this isn't really the thing, it's not about the feather in the hat, it's literally just the reaffirmation that you're desirable (for the dudes I talk to)

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u/Pandaburn ☑️ Oct 20 '21

They want to feel attractive. Surely this is a common desire among humans?

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u/kataskopo Oct 20 '21 Take My Energy

No, men are horrible for wanting to feel attractive to women, it must be a trick or an ego boost, it's something evil and undesirable if any man wants to.

Because somehow for some reason, a dude wanting to have sex with a woman is seeing as bad and violent? Of course if the dude is a creep or pushy, sure he's an asshole, but damn what an absolute bullshit of a message that men can't want to feel attractive and liked even just physically-sexually.

Sorry for the rant but I've literally dealt with this my whole life, and it's not like "society" or whatever is at fault, but these kinds of ideas sure don't help.

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u/steboy Oct 20 '21

Disagree. Engaging with unregulated sex workers comes with a plethora of issues and risks that a friends with benefits setup does not incur.

Is there something wrong with being open and honest with someone, on the off chance that they might be looking for the exact same thing as you?

If that’s not what they want, you move on. I’m 31, nearly everyone I know has had a FwB at one point or another, both male and female.

It’s anecdotal of course, but I’m inclined to believe these relationships are not exactly rare.

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u/Ill-Agent ☑️ Oct 20 '21

I didn't preface my comment, but forcing someone into sex work should remain a crime.

I don't find fault with either perspective of the tweet, but it tickles me to no end when my brothers who want sex without strings can't understand why the majority of sisters they meet aren't interested. At least be self-aware enough to recognize it's going to be a hard no for the majority of women.

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u/YouAreAnnoyingAF Oct 20 '21

At least be self-aware enough to recognize it's going to be a hard no for the majority of women.

And respect that “no”. Some guys will lie about wanting a relationship and then bounce after sex, which is so fucking manipulative and scummy.

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u/nope_nic_tesla Oct 20 '21

To me it's rather obvious that part of what people want is the feeling of being desired. It's hot to know that you turn on somebody else, even if it's a one time hookup.

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u/sunburn95 Oct 20 '21

Does every woman want commitment before sex? No, some definitely just want sex too

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u/Daddy-ough Oct 20 '21

"lucrative industries in the last 25 years" 25 years?

It's called the world's oldest profession for a reason.

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u/Stanley--Nickels Oct 20 '21

I believe the point is that for men who want the physical intimacy without the emotional connection, the concept of cash for intercourse should be rather obvious.

But she never said without emotional connection. She said without strings.

I like having casual sex. I don't get any enjoyment out of sex with someone I don't know who is only doing it because they're getting paid.

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u/buckeyerukys Oct 20 '21

"No strings" doesn't mean you don't have an emotional connection. It's just that you don't want to be exclusive.

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u/Ill-Agent ☑️ Oct 20 '21

True. Just understand that the pool of women interested in that arrangement is much smaller than the other pool, and there are a whole lot of "charming brotherz" swimming in that water too.

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u/dareelliltee Oct 20 '21

I feel like a much more simple answer is to ask "why would you ever pay for it if you could just get it for free?"

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u/Sleep-system ☑️ Oct 20 '21

There's hella women out there who just wanna fuck as well, don't get that twisted for a second, this lady sounds bitter

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u/sightunseen988 ☑️ Oct 20 '21

Been a lot longer then 25 years

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u/ACorDC Oct 20 '21 Silver

Only men enjoy sex. But that's from my experience. I've never heard anything that sounded like my hand was also enjoying it.

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u/Confused_Rock Oct 20 '21

Had me in the first half for a second there

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u/oonbug Oct 20 '21 Silver Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

Usually if you're a woman sleeping with a man who doesn't care about you, and isn't interested in going out with you, he won't care if you have an orgasm. So you basically won't finish 99% of the time. So no, I don't think the implication is to make everyone pay for sex, I think that some women just learn there isn't much to gain from it a lot of the time, and if you can't get the satisfaction you want from someone who only wants to hook up, then what's the point? Along with that some people just would rather be in a relationship, so it's just personal choice I guess.

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u/hadahog723 Oct 20 '21

Hmm really? I'm much more invested in getting a casual partner off then a relationship lol. Not that I'm an amazing person, I just get more pleasure from having my ego validated than nutting

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u/oonbug Oct 20 '21

Haha you're doing god's work for the ladies who love a casual encounter, keep it up!

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u/Hate_Having_Needs Oct 20 '21

You are a very rare outlier.

Btw, what's up

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u/Hate_Having_Needs Oct 20 '21 Gold

Legitimate question: is the implication here that all women (people) deserve to be paid for sex? Is there no real mutual enjoyment?

As a woman who has participated in casual sex culture it's just not very good for us. The men know it's a casual relationship so they are even less worried about pleasing the woman and just want to get their dick wet, because for them they don't care if they continue the relationship, no matter what "they still beat". For women this translates to more energy and time spent for less of an outcome than if we'd just stayed home and masturbated.

So then it becomes not worth it, unless there is something else.

That something else is either straight up money, or other transactions (as a woman I have honestly thought about a casual relationship with a carpenter just for home repairs), or a defined relationship, whether it be romantic or something else.

It is a rare occurrence that you can find a man, enter a casual sex relationship, and he honestly puts in the work to make it pleasurable for you the way he would for an actual girlfriend. It just doesn't normally happen like that. If it did, more women would probably want a casual sex relationship.

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u/amalgam_reynolds Oct 20 '21

I could also be wrong, but I think the point is how mad they get about it, "watching them explode with anger." I think they're calling out people who think that transactional sex is wrong (probably immoral or sinful), but want "transactional" sex without the transaction.

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u/PangolinJust8693 Oct 20 '21

Women come <10% of the time during ONS vs men who come >60% of the time. Why would it be worth it for if there is no pleasure guaranteed ?

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u/CoachDT Oct 20 '21

Is an orgasm the only metric to judge if sex was pleasurable or not?

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u/stink3rbelle Oct 20 '21

how many men would have or want sex as often as they do now if they didn't get an orgasm? how many lesbians put up with orgasm-less sex?

Like there's a sex-positive "sex is more than the O" angle, but it's not sex-positive to look at this gap and say, "well I'm just going to pretend 90% of women had fun even without the big payoff."

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u/Lexi_Banner Oct 20 '21

Yes, if one gets off 50% more often than the other.

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u/luxii4 Oct 20 '21

This tracks for me because I am pretty orgasmic but when I date someone, it takes a few weeks to feel comfortable enough with them to come. Then it's every time.

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u/ogoextreme ☑️ Oct 20 '21

I know for some women it's incredibly easy to orgasm like can get a good two off with a meh partner. For a LOT of women its nowhere near that easy to deal with, and really have to have a good partner to get even ONE off after rounds of sex.

I think the mutual enjoyment is there when both parties care about the other getting off, and a lot of dudes don't seem to understand that doesn't happen.

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u/BNEWZON Oct 20 '21

This would have been my answer to the question. If I was looking for something like this, to me the transaction would be two people trading sex basically. That’s why I want the no strings attached relationship. Both people are under the assumption that we both want sex and we will basically trade each other for it.

If I wanted to just have sex with someone and didn’t mind paying as part of the transaction then sure, I’ll go to the sex worker. Nothing against that

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u/CoachDT Oct 20 '21 Starry

I can list several reasons why.

This also toes the line of implying women can't enjoy casual sex or want a FWB situation.

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u/hailey_nicolee Oct 20 '21

i think it’s more touching on her frustrations trying to find a relationship and encountering men who only want sex rather than implying women dont want casual sex, bc there are for sure plenty who do

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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

[removed]

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u/hailey_nicolee Oct 20 '21

yeah i see where you are coming from, it's tricky because there is a legitimate argument for prostitution to be legal that i think a lot of people are starting to support for this reason

it benefits the workers, people who would pay for that service, and could help to reduce human trafficking with government regulation and protection

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u/poptart2nd mod for days Oct 20 '21

the exploitative structure comes from the fact that it's illegal. maybe we should just legalize sex work

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u/red-chickpea ☑️ Oct 20 '21

But people are allowed to look for what they want right? If a guy wants someone for no strings attached sex and is honest about it, what's the problem? Sexual freedom isn't just for women

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u/swingthatwang Oct 21 '21

if every dude was "honest about it," we wouldn't be having this conversation.

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u/lightning_knight Oct 20 '21 Coin Gift

Why doesn't she just pay for a boyfriend experience?

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u/301Blackstar ☑️ Oct 20 '21

This may be very true, it's interesting that she takes her frustration out on a man who's clearly being upfront and honest with what he is seeking.

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u/luker_man ☑️ Oct 20 '21

It sorta gives off this "sex with you is so bad the other party should be compensated" vibe.

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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21

[deleted]

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u/openup91011 ☑️ Oct 20 '21

Ok but what if that’s actually true. You gonna get mad at the messenger ooorrr?

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u/Liu_Su_Mian_Hua Oct 20 '21 All-Seeing Upvote

Most women don't orgasm during hook ups sex.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122412445802

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u/everythingundone Oct 20 '21 Rocket Like

I love that you posted a source! Note that this study is college students and that is a limiting factor for the study. But it has given me pause, I did not know that. Thanks!

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u/Darqnyz ☑️ Oct 21 '21

Not gonna lie. You kinda getting me all hot and bothered with your knowledge of properly conducting and interpreting studies. No one ever pays attention to that.

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u/ifnothingbecomes ☑️ Oct 21 '21

I’ve heard of this happening for women of all ages. Most women don’t orgasm from penetration alone. I think she (the woman who tweeted) has a valid point.

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u/everythingundone Oct 21 '21

This study does not provide data on other age groups is all I pointed out. It could be the college men are less generous lovers than older men, or more, we don't know based on this study.

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u/megalurkeruygcxrtgbn ✂✂wants a forceful sterilization ✂✂ Oct 20 '21

And yet I've had plenty of long-term sexual relationships that involved a woman calling me over for sex and then kicking me out and going back to her business. Should I have paid them for that?

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u/KageStar ☑️ Oct 20 '21

No, you should have gotten paid. You provided the service in this situation.

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u/theacctpplcanfind Oct 20 '21

This was my first reaction too but after rereading the tweet, I think people are missing the part where she says no courtship or commitment. Anyone who’s enjoyed a ONS or FWB situation can probably agree that the flirting is a big part of the fun, and that FWB involves some level of mutual commitment. If she’s talking about people who literally want a random person to fuck them then leave, then yeah I kinda see her point

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u/Sanka_Coffie_ ☑️ Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

A FWB and a ONS is the antithesis of commitment. That's why they exist, to avoid commitment.

I would highly doubt she is referring to mere "flirting" when she mentions courtship. I can tell you "your eyes are pretty, let's fuck" and technically that's flirting. Courtship refers to taking you out on dates and developing a relationship.

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u/stink3rbelle Oct 20 '21

A FWB and a ONS is the antithesis of commitment.

ONS maybe, but not FWB. If you have a regular sex thing with someone, that is some commitment. Commitment to sexual safety, communication, and some scheduling. Like sure, it's not a romantic commitment, but it is a relationship. At its best, it's an actual friendship, too, as implied by the "F."

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u/OneinEtherness Oct 20 '21

fwb isn’t ons

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u/CoachDT Oct 20 '21

She didn’t specify one night stands either. She just said no strings attached, which like… can be either or. Yo interpretation of it is valid ig.

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u/kenien ☑️ Oct 20 '21

(Is it toes or tows)

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u/TrapbarOverhead Oct 20 '21

Toes.

In my understanding, it comes from sports; when your foot is just barely on/crossing a line.

When you "toe the line" you're teetering right on the edge of crossing into some other territory.

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u/kenien ☑️ Oct 20 '21

Thanks

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u/BigThundrr Oct 20 '21

Sex work should be legalized and regulated, full stop.

I might be missing the point, but can women not have sex without commitment for fun?

I know the implication is that men feel entitled to sex, and that’s definitely true, and lame as hell.

For folks who wanna have sex just for fun, just be upfront, and kind (not nice!) when/if the other person says no. If you’re actually decent friends, you’ll be able to move past they awkward hump in the road.

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u/kenien ☑️ Oct 20 '21

I think there’s a better argument of decrim vs legalized

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u/pointlessarguments3 Oct 20 '21

I agree. Let's ask the sex workers what they want, often it's the people not in the industry saying "legalize and regulate!" The legalization and regulation aspect takes the power away from the worker God damnit, and many of them realize this and fight for decriminalization instead.

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u/tmac2200 Oct 20 '21

Regulation serves an important purpose though. Regulations would keep testing for STDs and a minimum level of compensation in the law. Regulation could also force pimps out of the industry, and make regulators have to inspect facilities to prevent workplace issues and human trafficking. The workers themselves could theoretically start a co-op with a loan from the government and own the business themselves. All of that could come in the law.

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u/NotTheBestMoment ☑️ Reincarnigga Oct 20 '21

A pimp would just become a manager. The main point of a pimp is to attract tricks for you (clients) as well as protection in case things go wrong. Sex workers would still benefit greatly from both of those things no matter what the legal structure is

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u/tmac2200 Oct 20 '21

Pimps are a problem man, not a benefit. They are the one's trafficking girls, exploiting, abusing, and killing them when they don't get what they want. You think criminals like them would welcome government regulators? No they wouldn't. Same reason drug dealers on street corners didn't suddenly become the ones who owned the dispensaries. All the benefits you listed would come from working at a brothel that has high ratings based on regulatory inspections and customer reviews.

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u/TwistedH3ro Oct 20 '21

So her kink is shaming men that don't want relationships?

And where would sex workers train, exactly? Pussy.edu is not pulling up a page....

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u/Zetice Mod | 👨🏿 Oct 20 '21 Wholesome

She just mad she's not gf material.

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u/mclannee Oct 20 '21

i was trying to put into words what I was feeling by reading through the comments and this is it!!

If being pumped and dumped becomes an issue and a cause for distress in your life, then your problem is not men who just want a ONS.

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u/Late_For_A_Good_Name Oct 20 '21

I think it’s more like “if we’re doing this as a transaction anyways, i’d rather get cash than food” or something like that. Not everyone starts with the assumption that prostitution is inherently bad, especially when compared to a “pay me with anything except money” mentality

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u/red-chickpea ☑️ Oct 20 '21

But don't women enjoy sex too? So why isn't it mutually beneficial to just have sex?

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u/ayers231 Oct 20 '21

Because too many men are bad at it.

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u/red-chickpea ☑️ Oct 20 '21

You act like women are magicians at it. I'll tell you the truth - most women just lie there like a rag doll and expect you as a man to do absolutely everything.

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u/ArtisanSamosa Oct 20 '21

This. But also most of these issues can be solved through proper communication. But no one wants to really do that, because it'd require some more effort on either end.

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u/smokemonmast3r Oct 20 '21

Many people are bad at sex, it just so happens to be harder to please a woman than a man...

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u/WaterAgain Oct 20 '21

Sounds like OnlyFans needs to get into the MasterClass game.

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u/warmaster_whorus Oct 20 '21 Hugz

Because I don't know if the sex worker is being exploited by another party or not and therefore cannot enthusiastically consent.

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u/xandrachantal ☑️ Oct 20 '21

it's a shame I had to scroll this long to find this answer

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u/ttchoubs Oct 20 '21

Theres also strong argument that most sex work under capitalism is on some level exploitative, if you do sex work because it's one of the only few jobs that will pay you decently then it's coercive on some level.

Not to mention the large amount of "legal" brothels in Europe that seem to get raided for trafficking

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u/dantunez1213 Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

Well capitalism is exploitative by it's nature, so every single job is coercive. If anything sex work is peak power to the worker. Assuming the worker keeps whatever they charge thats a great example of owning the means of production and being fairly compensated for your labor.

Edit: Some replies are being removed. If you disagree and you truly are curious at what I mean then shoot me a dm. I don't mind debating as long as it's in good faith

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u/ThaSaxDerp ☑️ Oct 21 '21

Not only this, but there are in fact women who also just want sex without the relationship or commitment. I'm not looking for a significant other, I'm not looking for someone to spend my life with, I just want to have a good time with another person. I've met men and women who feels the same way.

So free vs paid. Not to mention sex work is generally illegal where I am and due to that the people in it tend to exploited just like you said.

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u/Fishychicken Oct 20 '21

Part of what turns a lot of people on is when someone genuinely wants you, and paying someone to have sex with you does not provide that

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u/Taco_Champ Oct 20 '21

I just want the nut

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u/Darryl_Dandleton ☑️ Oct 21 '21

This. I understand the point /u/bulgaribooboo is trying to make but having sex with a prostitute is like eating a meal without salt. Sure it'll fill you up, but it won't be very enjoyable to eat. A large part of sex is the psychological aspect -- being wanted, feeling attractive. Any attraction coming from a prostitute is fake, like a used car salesman feigning politeness to get you to walk away with an overpriced vehicle. Not that I blame that. It is just a job, after all. I wouldn't expect a Subway worker to be thrilled to give me a sandwich. But if the only goal was to nut you could just masturbate.... but an orgasm is rarely the only goal.

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u/mymatt1 ☑️ Oct 20 '21

Nobody ever had FWB?

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u/bluelightsonblkgirls ☑️ Oct 20 '21

FWB is diff from ONS…ostensibly at least the FWB will care if the woman gets off, ONS probably won’t so what’s the point for a woman to expose herself to risks and not even get a nut out of it?

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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21

"Sex with no strings courtship or commitment"

FWB are included

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u/Sanka_Coffie_ ☑️ Oct 20 '21

ONS's aside, 75% of women don't orgasm from penetrative sex.

If women weren't getting anything from ONS's, it wouldn't be so prevalent.

Too many people are framing this argument in a way that implies that most women who have a ONS were tricked into it. Women feel raw sexual desire as well. And for the right man and circumstance, they will act on that raw primal urge.

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u/bluelightsonblkgirls ☑️ Oct 20 '21

No one is being tricked except in the cases of those men who are with women who have clearly stated what they are looking for and men lie to get what they want. It seems clear to me that those are the situations that the OP tweet was trying to get it.

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u/Sanka_Coffie_ ☑️ Oct 20 '21

Except that circumstance is not at all mentioned in the tweet. So, not at all clear. She literally mentioned that she asks men that she knows just want sex (made their wants clear) why they don't just pay for a hooker. That's your own bias talking.

She describes it as something she enjoys doing. That, to me, alludes to a certain bitterness from not being able to keep a man but...I digress.

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u/NotTheBestMoment ☑️ Reincarnigga Oct 20 '21

Doesn’t take much effort and skill to play with the clit while you’re fuckin, people make this “hard to make her cum” shit way too complex. Doesn’t even take much extra effort

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u/Funkula Oct 20 '21

Some girls struggle to get themselves off, man. I’m not going to doubt anyone’s experiences or prowess, but it’s definitely not as easy as pressing a button for everyone.

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u/kenien ☑️ Oct 20 '21

Not helping the other get a nut is not friendly.

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u/StopcryingFistUrself Oct 20 '21 Take My Energy

Because they don't want to go to jail I would assume.

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u/Dfifty ☑️ Oct 20 '21 Helpful Wholesome

Someone mansplain this womenese, thank you

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u/Zetice Mod | 👨🏿 Oct 20 '21 Silver Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy

She mad cause niggas just wanna fuck her cause she offers nothing else.

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u/Dfifty ☑️ Oct 20 '21

Haha damn bruh

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u/XLauncher ☑️ Oct 20 '21

Jesus, came out here with the knives sharpened.

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u/Alucard_117 Oct 20 '21

Violence. Just pure violence.

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u/red-chickpea ☑️ Oct 20 '21

True. Coochie in 2021 isn't enough to keep a man

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u/Hapahunter Oct 20 '21

Maybe because it's illegal and contributes to human trafficking...

Guess i'm lame like that...

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u/Here4Memes4MyWife Oct 20 '21

But how else could she make her point that men are pigs? If prostitution were legal and there were protections in place to prevent human trafficking then I’d bet a whole lot of men and women would be more likely to go that route.

Risk losing your job, house, kids, whatever by paying for sex vs having a casual fwb that’s perfectly legal…hmmm tough choice there.

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u/viridien104 Oct 20 '21

Maybe because it's illegal

Like the drug war, keeping it illegal doesn't make it go away it only makes it unsafe.

contributes to human trafficking...

See my previous statement.

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u/FerretAres Oct 20 '21

Ok but whether it should or shouldn’t be isn’t relevant to my desire to stay out of jail.

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u/spazz720 Oct 20 '21

But it’s not like you snap your fingers and magically it’s legal. It is illegal…that is the reality…and getting caught can get you arrested and/or lose your job.

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u/JHKtheSeeker Oct 20 '21 Silver

Because my kink is having sex with someone who wants to have sex with me. I really get off on sincere consent and mutual interest. If i wanted disinterested, dutiful sex, I think stereotypical marriage is an option.

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u/syyvorous Oct 20 '21

It is illegal to pay a person for sex. Now it isn't illegal to be paid for sex. Sex work should become regulated with standards to help protect both sides of the transaction.

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u/pointlessarguments3 Oct 20 '21

Shouldn't be regulated, should be decriminalized

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u/Deepspacedreams Oct 20 '21

What’s the difference? Wouldn’t legalization lead to screening and health check also safe locations. Where decriminalizing just means no arrest?

Ps I’m for whichever gives the workers the most control and protection

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u/HighOnPotenuse_ Oct 20 '21

Sounds expensive

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u/EnvyHill Oct 20 '21

Compare it to the amount of time/resources spent courting a woman just to hook up, and I bet it’s cheaper to pay for a high end escort.

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u/ifuckinghateitall Oct 20 '21

A few cups of coffee and maybe some nachos? Dating isn’t as expensive as you might think

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u/Sir_Mixa ☑️ Oct 20 '21

The only problem I have with this is the assumption women speak of it as if they do not enjoy sex, as if its only beneficial to men. We know thats not the case cause a ton of women have their Sidepiece/sneakylink. This is one of the main reason I do not pay for sex, I would want to negotiate 50% off the price everytime she nuts. You’re here for a service, not to have fun.

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u/McDunkins ☑️ Oct 20 '21

You could just do like me most men and purposefully fail to make her orgasm bust …

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u/Sir_Mixa ☑️ Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

Oh no, I never said I wouldn’t still be paying full price, just like to have the possibility lol……but all jokes aside a big part of my enjoyment of sex is granting the woman as much pleasure as I can

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u/Gladukame Oct 20 '21

That part. You hear all these stories of unfulfilled women which leads to jokes/comments like the original post but...I'm sure there are many of us men who don't have sex just to cum. I don't even think I can cum if she's not at least enjoying it fully.

I honor and respect sex workers. But it's not for me to pay just to "use" your body selfishly (unless that selfish use is consensual, etc.)

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u/viridien104 Oct 20 '21

"Trained" lol... huh

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u/Pain-n-stryife ☑️ Oct 20 '21

Right where they training them? Throwing that thang back university?

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u/x1009 ☑️ Oct 20 '21

There are PLENTY of women who only want casual sex/fwb. If men aren't upfront with their intentions, that's another story.

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u/MultiRachel Oct 20 '21

This tweet is dumb as hell. Just because she wants a relationship, doesn’t mean everyone does (m or f). Her berating people who are open and honest about their sexual intentions seems like she is either sexually repressed or this bitch is uptight because she seriously needs to get laid.

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u/diesel_chevette Oct 20 '21

I didn't do 20 pushups this morning to pay for it. /s

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u/Lurd67 Oct 20 '21

It's all about the mutual enjoyment.

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u/kooljaay ☑️ Oct 20 '21

This implies women don’t also want casual sex. 🤷🏾‍♂️

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u/Shad-based-69 Oct 20 '21

Exactly, it's so dumb, if it's not for you then keep moving, but let others enjoy their causal fun.

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u/hadahog723 Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

Real shit take here

Even setting aside legality and cost, casual sex is not necessarily transactional. A big part of sex is being desired and connecting on an intimate level even if only temporarily. No shame on sex work but I can't see it as anything other than emotionally empty.

I guess men are more interested in casual sex then women by their disposition, but I do think most men are still looking for more than literally just getting their dick wet

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u/dengeist ☑️ Oct 20 '21

She’s basically trolling dudes that want a FWB situation, like there aren’t women that do it too. It takes two for a FWB situation to happen.

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u/xanroeld Oct 20 '21

Straight up... that’s really expensive. Even if you’re a man with some disposable income, paying for sex as frequently as you want sex could cost a small fortune.

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u/izzytakamono ☑️ Oct 20 '21

Is the implication that only men enjoy casual sex? Or that anyone that wants casual sex should have to hire a sex worker? Does this apply to women as well? Also, I think what 2 consenting adults do is between them is long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else but you can’t act like hiring a sex is a legal and reasonable option for everyone. Never mind, the general stigma that the person would deal with. That said, what’s the alternative here?

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u/Jb2head ☑️ Oct 20 '21

Why don’t men just.. do an illegal thing, which directly contributes to the exploitation of women.. because it is a minor inconvenience to me that men want sex without commitment?

What in the chronically-online-hell kind of take is this?

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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21

A) "I'm Broke"

B) "It's a felony in my state."

C) "Fuck the club, Fuck them over-priced drinks, & Fuck yo friends for side-eyeing us just for being grown ass adults about what we want!"

D) "Am I really that out of line for just wanting somebody to want me for tonight? Like god dammit, I'm a grown ass man with responsibilities! I got too much shit in my life already for you to start asking me for a whole ass relationship. I got time for like a 1-day thing."

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u/BRtIK Oct 20 '21

This is fucking stupid. She's literally saying why don't you risk going to jail or prison and having your life ruined for an easier sex life. Beyond stupid.

And the places where prostitution is legalized it costs very ridiculous amount

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u/brightJERK ☑️ Oct 20 '21

I got here at first to say "OP thought they did something here..."

But I'm reading the comments and it seems some of ya'll are broken

To each their own though

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u/glockpony Oct 20 '21

I mean if you want "no strings sex" with a woman you should...know how to please a woman? Like yeah if you just want to put your penis in something without regards to their pleasure and enjoyment then please just pay for what you really want

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u/KingKuckKiller666420 Oct 20 '21

Well this is the dumbest thing I've read today.

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u/EvidenceOfReason Oct 20 '21

because they also want that sex to cost them no more than a 3 piece with fries at the drive thru?

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u/WallabyBubbly Oct 20 '21

Classy ladies ask for the fish filet

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u/Daddy-ough Oct 20 '21

That always ends up leaving me thirsty an hour later.

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u/RomaruDarkeyes Oct 20 '21

Woman can enjoy no strings attached sex as well.

What's the argument for sex in a relationship - is that still transactional? Is this woman only putting up with her guys dick because he's gonna buy her shit?

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u/andyscorner Oct 20 '21

Hey you said it, not me.

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u/JiveTurkeyMFer ☑️ Oct 20 '21

Jesus Christ people are fucking weird. How is it so hard to understand that just because someone wants sex without commitment doesn't mean they're ok with paying for sex? That's like saying if women want relationships so much they should be willing to pay someone to be in a relationship with them. Can't 2 consenting adults just want to bone without wanting to date or complicate things? How the fuck is that transactional if both parties are getting what they wanted- physical pleasure

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u/fubinistheorem Oct 20 '21

because it's illegal

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u/unonameless Oct 20 '21

This sounds like an implication that women don't enjoy sex.

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u/phonebook01 Oct 20 '21

“Explode with anger” …sure 🙄

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u/Daddy-ough Oct 20 '21

"Trained?"

Where do they get their professional training? Are they certified? Licensed?

If a professional needs a license to cut my hair, and a restaurant needs a health inspection then it follows that the professionals you describe are licensed and inspected too, right?

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u/I_am_The_Teapot Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

Often, the biggest turn-on is being wanted. I don't feel anything from people who are just providing a service to get paid. There's more to a hook up than just nutting, otherwise you can just jack off. And there's something you can't actually get by paying for it. It may not be a particularly deep and lasting connection, but there's a connection nonetheless, however temporary, when you get together with a person who wants to get together with you. Even if it's just for a night or from time to time ala friends with benefits. Sex and desire without the complications of a full blown relationship. Any complications involved in these kinds are usually smaller and more manageable.

In short, I don't want to have sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with me. Mutual desire and fun. where we're both having a good time. What's wrong with that?

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u/d33n3r_ Oct 20 '21

Sex workers are not a fucking “resource” more often than not they are women who are being exploited by men. This post is disgusting

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u/MACMUA Oct 20 '21

As an average looking single women dating at 43yo

This is my pain. I don’t want to have casual sex. I say this day 1..he tells me he’s looking for something serious too….

But does the slow fade after the deed is done.

I don’t care if men are looking for fwb or casual sex. not everyone is about that life. I know hook up culture is widely accepted..but these men need to stop playing games and wasting time.

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u/onedamngoodman ☑️ Oct 20 '21

Hey yo, but hear me out.

Do you have an extra $500 laying around?

Because everyone making this argument is thinking that paying for that stuff is easy. And safe. It’s not.

This is how you end up with guys who’d rather watch porn than date, and the ones who actually date end up liking the porn better than you.

I get it, you’re a person who longs for a connection and “strings.” That’s cool. But don’t shame those people (yes, people) who don’t want the strings. That’s perfectly healthy.

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u/Troll_Toll_TreeFiddy Oct 20 '21

Right, because no woman ever wanted a friend-with-benefits. Right 👌

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u/Hyperfungus Oct 20 '21

This thread confuses me. Is men looking for sexual encounters without "strings" inherently different to when women do it? Is it implied women don't actually want sex themselves and deserve something in compensation for having sex with men?

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u/thatHecklerOverThere Oct 20 '21

I mean... Crime.

Also, there's literally nothing wrong with saying "I really just want to fuck. Do you just want to fuck?"

So the whole thing seems like a dumb idea dreamed up by someone who doesn't seem to know what a "cop" is.

Just say "no" and keep it moving.

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u/Alucard_117 Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

Because prostitution is illegal and finding a woman that has the same interests as you is literally free and doesn't break any laws.

Edit: Also, maybe try having sex with men that actually care about pleasing you so you won't think sex is one sided in men's favor. She genuinely thinks if she isn't compensated with money that she isn't getting anything out of sex and that should not be the case. The "transaction" in sex should be both parties having a good time, not one person getting their orgasm and the other getting paid.

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u/Kazuhi ☑️ Oct 20 '21

Y’all don’t communicate your needs and it shows.

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u/rawbface Oct 20 '21

This is dumb. Sex IS the transaction. If the pleasure is not mutual she can decline. Her response is the equivalent to asking "why would you seek free sex with someone who enjoys it?"

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u/err0r333 Oct 20 '21

Some men really do think that if you're having sex with them, that's already proof enough that they're doing work for you.

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u/gentlemanjacklover Oct 20 '21

Sex work should be legal and regulated. I'm not sure who she deals with but I hardly see a reason to get angry.

Shit, if we had a decent system here that kept sex workers and clients safe, I'd gladly partake. No strings attached, safe sex with someone I'm attracted to for money? Sounds fun to me

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u/WeeMooton Oct 20 '21

Wow, straight people are truly not okay. What the fuck is the tweet and a lot of these comments.

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u/buckeyerukys Oct 20 '21

Legitimate answer:

I prefer to know the person I'm having sex with actually enjoys my company and the sex we're having.

I don't want to just pay someone to pretend they do.

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u/TexasGuy1776 Oct 20 '21

You can still have a legitimate connect without wanting commitment? I’m always astounded people can’t understand this, they are very different things.

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u/coldest_touch Oct 20 '21

“Looking for a relationship that leads to marriage.” Boom that’ll help cut down on those who only want a casual relationship. Sometimes you aren’t ready for the responsibility and duties that come with a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. But you still want that companionship occasionally. I can’t fault anyone for being honest with their intentions. It’s better than a guy pretending he wants to be with a girl just smash and pass. I commend the guys who are honest about what they want. Personally I use to respond back with “No thank you, but good luck finding someone.”

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u/oscine23 ☑️ Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

Right. Since most feel entitled to sex after they buy you dinner or take you to a raggedy movie anyway then get pissed when they don’t get it. Why don’t they use their money more constructively and get exactly what they’re attempting to pay for? Everybody win!s!

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u/bulgaribooboo ☑️ Oct 20 '21

Fr. Because their lil olive garden money can't afford pussy they out here trading breadsticks for just a chance😹

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u/BossScribblor Oct 20 '21

"That's illegal."

Easy, next question.

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u/big_black_doge Oct 20 '21

Where is this sex worker training she's talking about?

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u/waseem_the_dream Oct 20 '21

It’s about the game, the hustle

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u/Muted_Anywhere9801 Oct 20 '21

$150 on dinner in hopes that 1 day she might let you smash. Or $150 with a Guarantee of smashing Sloppy toppy included.. The Choice is yours

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u/JtDaSaiyan Oct 20 '21

Pretty weird kink I have to say and that's coming from someone who watches hentai.

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u/SissyCouture Oct 20 '21

Pay for NSA sex if that’s what you want. You’re guaranteed to get your needs fulfilled and if you put a price on your time, it might even be cheaper.

The only caveat is that if your kink is the chase then sex work is not the solution.

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u/Gladukame Oct 20 '21

Can we talk about ONS? I rarely go into a situation saying "damn, I can't wait to have sex with her ONE time and never again." Can we bifurcate ONS from casual sex?

Can we also acknowledge that sometimes casual sex blossoms into relationships? Many relationships start with casual sex (personal testimony here).

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u/es84 Oct 20 '21

A lot of people, not just men, want an FWB situation, not necessarily a transaction. You get a certain amount of satisfaction out of being with that person, not to mention the sense of comfort, company, the BF/GF experience when together, etc. But when you're done, you both don't have the pressures of a relationship. Sex workers are one and done. Costly. And, of course, could get you caught up and arrested depending on where you live.

Not sure why this is even a comparison.

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u/CODDE117 Oct 20 '21

This is dumb for so many reasons

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u/0zymand1as- ☑️ Oct 20 '21

Ehh i'm a just be the flat out rude poster but she should change the type of men she is going after or desires; if this is a common occurrence.

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u/maniacleruler Oct 20 '21

I’m just so glad not everyone in this thread is as stupid as this post.

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u/301Blackstar ☑️ Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

Just because people want "no strings attached" sex doesn't mean they don't want to enjoy somebody's company. If you're paying for sex the person leaves after providing the service. Saying that you want no strings attached sex is a way of being upfront and honest that you're not interested in dating or a committed relationship. That doesn't mean that you want to seek the services of a professional sex worker.

As a woman, if I want to no strings attached sex and a man asked me that question, I'd probably be annoyed too! Like WTF.

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u/purobusiness Oct 20 '21

Trained? Wut? Huh?

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u/Hayabusa72 Oct 20 '21

Who's training them?

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u/UniqueUsername82D Oct 20 '21

Women can enjoy hookups too. Am I missing something?

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u/KR1736 Oct 20 '21

She seems like a real piece of work, but hey good for you Josie.